


Crossed Paths

by Wolfytoons31



Series: Crossed Paths [1]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Childhood Sweethearts, F/M, Loss of Memory, More will be added, Season 1, future smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 19:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14776154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfytoons31/pseuds/Wolfytoons31
Summary: You and Shizuo are childhood sweethearts, yet you have no memory of last few years with him. Will he be able to regain your memory and confess his love to you?





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place before season 2. I haven't watched season 2 and who knows if I ever will, but yes. It's been awhile since I've last saw Durarara, so feel free to correct me although some of it will be on purpose for the story. Enjoy~

All his life he is treated like a monster because of his awesome strength. There were a few rare characters who knew of his ability but never truly feared him. That didn't stop the doubts in his head. The constant reminder that he is still a monster regardless of how many people he befriended. There was a limit on each one until he messes things up because of his temper. Shinra, is an example friend. A geek he knew since he was a kid. Although the guy was fascinated by Shizuo's endurance, the threats he made when Shinra did not oblige to his requests are clear that he feared him even a little. He felt he was never truly wanted nor loved like he wanted to. He thought he could do good with his abilities when he met that woman only to fuck it up. The fear in each of his "friends" face is a reminder. One he despises to see on those he cared for. There is however, one who accepted him as he is. One who looked at him with nothing but admiration. Everyday that person showed him just how important he is to her. Her affection limitless to claiming all that he is. Soul, mind, sound, body and heart. You. You are that special lady in his life. A gorgeous creature sent from above. He could swear he saw a halo and pair of wings the moment he saw you entered his life at a young age.

 

"Shizuo." You moan his name into his ear. "Do you love me?" You ask. Your (e/c) eyes dazzle with pure love. His eyes drop to your plump lips. "Shizuo?" You ask again. The sound of his name falling on your lips made him shudder. It was like sweet honey melting his being of everything. There was only you on his mind. Your chest heaves from this passionate moment. Your words were not audible to him. You call again. "Shizuo? Shizuo!" Your tone shifts to a stern one. "Shizuo!"

The blonde coughs out the remnants of his toxic smoke. The vague memory of you dispersed in an instant. A different voice calls him back to reality.

"Yo man, are you alright? I've been calling you for the longest. You gave no response I thought I'd have to call an ambulance or something." Tom starts. He fans the smoke out of his face.

"I'm fine. Sorry." He croaks. "I was just lost in thought." His companion raises a brow. He takes the first step to leading him to the next destination. A tax collector and his body guard only his body guard was literally like having a superhero by the man's side. Shizuo follows always walking by his side on the clock. Tom in comparison appeared smaller against Shizuo. Sad to say, but luckily because the blonde stood out more, Tom gets a cleared path as people steer away from them in a crowded city.

"Mind if I ask what they were about?" He smirks.

"It was just a memory. May be a dream? It seemed real like I've had it before." He mumbles.

"Care to clarify?"

"The memory of a girl in my arms." A wide grin emerges on his boss's face.

"Was she hot?" He teases. Shizuo runs his hand through his hair still trying to remember clearly.

"I guess so."

"You guess so? She either is or not."

"She was…" A brief flash of your smile enters his mind. Your face is still a blur to him. The pieces scattered somewhere in the confines of his mind. "…beautiful." He admits.

"Ah, I see. She must have been a babe. Do you remember when you met?"

"No. It was just a random memory, but lately they've been reoccurring more often than they should." He said.

"Hmm, sounds like it's important if your mind is bringing it up. I wouldn't worry about it too much if you can't remember much though. If it's meant to be, it will come to you." He pats his back. On that note, Shizuo flicks his cigarette into a puddle as he blows out the fumes inhaled earlier.

"Where are we going next? Down town to pick up that one guy again?"

"Actually this one isn't really money. It's not a necessary job." Shizuo raises a brow. "We're making a quick stop at the airport. A cousin of mine is in town and she's staying with me."

"Whoa, visiting?" He asks.

"That and work. I'm still happy she'll be visiting me though. She used to attend high school with us. Freshman year then her family moved to the U.S."

"Really? I don't remember meeting her." Shizuo said.

"That's probably because you were too busy being hospitalized or getting in a fight to see her. Plus she had this after school program so she left early during her last period." Tom explained. It was nice to see his boss happier than usual. He was a lot more talkative and less silence between them. Not that it made a difference.

"May be that was it." He agrees.

 

The two waited outside the building for two or three hours. The plane arrived twenty minutes after their arrival, but the attendants were kept in a line still checking each luggage and person from the plane before. Tom sighs checking the time every now and then worried. "This is taking an unusual amount of time. We could have collected a load of money by this time."

"Would it be wrong if we came back another time while we do our rounds?" Shizuo suggests.

"At this point, I feel bad but I think it's best-"

"To ditch your guest?" A voice speaks up. Both men turn around to find you. You smile cheekily. Tom beams rushing up to give you a nice big hug. Shizuo is left paralyzed like he just saw a ghost. More than that he saw it. The halo and wings appearing behind you. A stunning woman standing before him smiling. You hug Tom back and pull away.

"Hello beautiful. Long time no see."

"Same to you handsome." You chirp. You shoot over to Shizuo.

"Shizuo this is my cousin (Y/n). (Y/n) this is my partner/body guard Shizuo. A good friend of mine." The blonde lower his gaze to your plump lips. Lips so familiar. Your face, your figure, the warmth, hair and especially your dazzling eyes reflecting nothing but admiration just like his dream. No he was sure. You aren't a dream. You were definitely a memory. 

"Nice to meet you Shizuo." His name. You said his name. He watches your lips form the words. He shudders at the sweet, sound of his name falling off your lips. The way your voice rang through his ears. Again you did this to him and you both carry no recollection of each other. The only thing he could think of is you were a one night stand. He snaps out of his thoughts when eyes focused on him. "Um…is he okay?" You ask.

"Hi." Is all he says. "Sorry. You just look familiar is all. Like we've met." You tilt your head.

"Yeah…I feel the same way. Oddly enough, but I haven't been here since I was in high school." You scoff. Then it wasn't a one night stand. His brow furrows and everything clicks. The memory before, your face finally clear in his mind yet there was more. Everything came flooding together like a brick to the face. You weren't just anybody. You were his girlfriend in the past. More than that.

"I think you're losing it buddy. Come on (Y/n) let me take you home." Tom said. Shizuo follows behind never taking his eyes of you. Because you were the love of his life. The only woman who truly loved him, only you don't remember and for the first time in a long time. His heart constricted with a pain he could not explain. A heart ache.


	2. Directions

The entire walk to Tom's apartment you kept your attention to your cousin while stealing glances over to his body guard. Not because you found him attractive but because he continued to catch him staring every now and then. You would feel the presence of his stare. He averted when you caught him trying to play it off as cool or just shoot him an awkward smile. Should you feel creeped out? Yes. Are you? Nope. You felt flattered. Capturing such a handsome guy's eyes on your first day was a plus.

Blue irises scan your figure up and down taking in every inch of detail from head to toe. He wanted to remember you this time while he went through his memories of you. Your face fit the description of the girl in his head.

"The sushi restaurant. You remember that right?" A tall African/Russian man wearing a Japanese fisherman's attire greets you with an advertisement holding coupons. 

"Welcome! Nice to see you Tom, Shizuo and, who is this pretty lady?" You blush slightly. Shizuo winces as if the stab of jealousy stung him. He wanted to be the only one to make you blush. The only one who gets to see you bashful like the past.

"Simon this is my cousin (Y/n). Do you remember her? She used to live here until she moved away." Tom explains. Simon shapes his lips into an 'o'.

"Oh! You must forgive me. My mind is a bit foggy when it comes to the past, but is pleasure to meet you." You shake his hand.

"That's alright. My memory is the same." A buzzing sound reverberates from Tom's pocket. He rummages for his phone bringing it up to view to find a message received. 

"Damn." He curses. "Sorry Simon, we have to get going. Maybe later tonight we can dine here." Tom drags you along ripping you away from the sweet man.

"Okay! Be sure to come. See you later!" Simon waves to you over the dozens of passer-by's.

"Bye Simon! It was nice meeting you!" You call back returning his wave. You turn to Tom inquisitively.

"Sorry about that. Boss messaged me. He wanted to know how much we collected. I have to drop you off and head back to work."

"Not a problem. I understand cuz." You Pat his shoulder in reassurance. "We can tour the city some other time. Maybe Shizuo can give me a tour sometime." You grin up to him. The brute is left surprised. A small pink blush dusts over his cheeks. Tom gapes. Never in his life has he seen him blush so quickly.

"Um...sure. Whenever you want just let me know." He grunts.

 

That same afternoon, you are dropped off at the front of the apartment building. Tom hands you his keys. "Here. The extra room is ready for you. It's the one on the left when you enter. Make yourself at home and I'll see you soon."

"I hope so. I have a surprise for you. I'm hoping we can do our routine whenever we see each other." Tom's eyes light up.

"Definitely. I can't wait now." You both chortle.

"Well see ya later." You turn to Shizuo, "It was nice meeting you Mr. Body guard." You teased. He simply nods in acknowledgment. You take your leave dragging your luggage with you. You left the blonde dazed. His eyes drop to your behind. Once again he is brought out of his trance.

"What the hell was that?" Tom asks.

"What?" Shizuo pulls out his box of cigarettes already taking one on his lips.

"You blushed when she asked you for a tour, she just teased you. You're not trying to hit on my cousin are you or at least she's catching your eye?" He nudges him. His face begins to turn a deep shade of red up to the tips of his ears.

"N-no." He stutters cursing at himself for doing so. "No, not at all." He corrects himself.

"Good. She's quite a catch but I'd also hate to turn on you. I'm protective of her. She's the only one out of my family who looks up to me. We've been together since we were kids. Inseparable until ya know the move."

"I understand. No worries. If she does ask for me I'll keep her safe." Tom beams.

"Thanks man. I knew I could count on you. If you also see a guy around her kick his ass. I want him to know dating her comes with a price." Shizuo chuckles.

"My pleasure."

 

"Shizuo~" you moan deliciously just for him. You looks back at him with lidded (E/c) eyes. Your hands caressing his face. So soft and warm he could feel your racing pulse against your palm. The love you felt for him. His hand travels to your curves exploring your body while he hovers over you on the bed. Slowly he unbuttons your blouse revealing black Lacy bra. Your breasts held in place by the garment shielding your skin from his eyes. His hot breath brushes against the juncture of your neck sending shivers down your spine. You write underneath him. His lips make contact with yours. He pulls away to see your gorgeous face. "Shizuo." You drag out his name so seductive and breathless. "Do you love me?" You ask him again. Your eyes searched for an answer. His lips part to answer, but the words were never said.

The loud ringing of his alarm woke him up from his dream. He stirs awake searching for the confounded device on his desk. His fingers make contact with his phone to set it to snooze. The blinds covered the sun's Ray's, but not enough to darken the room and let him sleep a couple of more minutes. Blurry, yet he manages to pry his eyes open to see the time. He groans not wanting to get up. The dream was so lewd at the same time wonderful. It has been a long time since he's enjoyed dreaming. He wanted to go back to sleep and continue it. Unfortunately, his job wouldn't allow it. He would have to meet Tom this time just to see you. That's been the routine lately. He sits up and looks down groaning realizing he had to deal with a morning problem.

"Fuck." He sighs. 

 

It's been two weeks since your arrival to Ikebukero. He's only seen you twice. The first time you arrived and the next day when he met up with Tom. The Brunette mentioned you a couple of times. Any chance he got to hearing about you, Shizuo listened and pried a little on the topic. He wanted to know more about you during your absence. How were you doing? How is life in the USA and importantly, did you even miss him? It was hard to tell by the way you acted. Everyday he searched for your face whether it was his thoughts, dreams or in the city. Each passing second without you aggravated him. Currently, he stood outside of Tom's apartment building taking his first cig of the day. He spews the toxins upwards watching the blue sky above.

"Good morning." Tom yawns.

"Morning."

"Short day today. Not a whole lot of people to collect. The earlier, the faster we can have our day off." He chimes. The blonde looks over to the entrance of the building hoping you'd come strolling out. Sadly you did not.

"Had a nice breakfast?" He asked planting the seed to hear about you.

"Nah, not today. (Y/n) left early for her job. She's been working indoors to finish her portfolio or something, now that she's done, she's headed to the building where her company is."

"Company?" He asks.

"Yeah something about a model design company. I'm not sure. Dozed off while she was talking. We were up till sunrise. I slept for only two hours." He yawns again. "Damn." He mumbles. "So sleepy."

 

The job was done, Shizuo is set free around one with no idea what to do. Tom had taken off to pass out at home. He figured he could take a walk at the park or do some errands for hos house. He never did have the time to do so much. He stops when he spots your small form from afar being pursued by a man dressed in baggy clothing. A gang member perhaps. You looked annoyed rather than scared. You stop in front of the road ready to walk. Shizuo drops the remnants of his cigarette crushing it under his sole before marching up to your side.

"Awe come on baby, just one date. Maybe a one night stand."

"I beg your pardon?" You gape. "What kind of girl do you take me for? I don't do one night stands with bug like you. I only asked for directions not the way to your heart." You grumble.

"Feisty." He smirks. You scowl at the incompetent fool. You were about to beat his ass to the ground. You failed to notice how this guy just groped your ass without permission. You jump at the contact. Your face contorts to mortification. Just as you were about to send him flying, someone else handles your pest.

He yelps at the sudden levitation held by his hoodie. "O-oi! What the hell?" The man pales when seeing Shizuo is his assaulter. The blonde growls scowling intensely at the young man. Your eyes widen to the scene playing in front of you.

"You got a lot of nerve picking on a woman punk." He growls.

"I-I'm sorry. Please don't kill me!" He pleads.

"Apology accepted." You say. "But that still doesn't excuse you for groping me." You crossed your arms and huff. 

"What?" Shizuo snaps. His fist clenches tightly enough to turn his knuckles white. A swift punch to the face sent the man flying. People whom surrounded you make a gap avoiding you and Shizuo. You gasp in amazement. This was something out of an anime. You've never seen someone fly so high from one punch. You cover your mouth still shocked. Shizuo huffs fixing his composure. He nudges his shades back in place. He turns to find you shocked. Eyes wide staring at him. His heart throbs in pain. He despised that look. The look only a monster like him earns.

"That was amazing." You praise. Now it was his turn to look surprised. "I've never seen that before. At least I think? Thank you for handling him. He kept pestering me about going out with him. I was only trying to look for directions. He's the tenth guy who kept hitting on me completely ignoring my question."

"You lost?" You nod taking out your company's card.

"This is my company, but I haven't a clue where it is. I feel like I went in circles. Easy to get lost here." The brute takes a look at your card recognizing it.

"I know where this is. I can take you there if you'd like?" You take the card back and smile softly.

"Yes! Please take me there. I'm already late."

"It's going to take awhile. I have a friend who can drive you there." He suggests.

"No, I want to go with you." Shizuo blushes. "It would give me us time to get to know each other. Seeing as my cousin is fond of you and I'd like to know my savior." A ghost of a frown plays on his lips. That's all you thought about him because of Tom. It was painful to say, he wanted to come out right then and there and ask if you remember, but your beady eyes said other wise restraining him from losing his shit. Scaring you off is the last thing he wanted and if you didn't scurry away when he sent that guy flying then he would take his chance to keep his mouth shut for now. On the other hand he could get to know you as well.

"Yeah, sure." He acknowledged leading you straight. You wrap your arms around his and peer up at him. He shudders at the unexpected touch.

"I hope you don't mind, but I don't want to get lost or taken away by a crowd of people while we talk." A smile tugs his lips.

"Not at all." You lean your head against his arm. It felt normal for the both of you. To Shizuo it was more nostalgic, to you if felt familiar. You enjoyed his warmth. You take notice of your surroundings.

"Where did everybody go? Did you scare them off?"

"Probably." Is all he said. A man of a few words. You've taken notice of that.

"Does this happen all the time when you get into a fight?" You begin.

"Yes."

"Why?" You ask yet you knew the answer. He shrugs.

"I've always been feared because of my strength. I'm different." You sadden and rub his arm.

"But that can't be right." He looks down at you. Your cheek pressed against his arm while locking eyes with him adorably. "You're a big lovable sweetheart." You chirp. Shizuo snorts at your teasing. You chuckle along side him. "What? It's true. So far you're a sweet guy. You saved me and now you're guiding me to my job. Don't let anyone tell you you're not."

"Thanks. I will keep that in mind."

There was a moment of silence during the walk with a few words. In a way, Shizuo was giving you a tour while showing you the way to work.

"So the building is coming up. What exactly do you do there?"

"I am a clothes designer and I'm also a model. I model some of my clothes. People thought I had perfect structure for modeling so I went with it. I'm only known in the US. So it's understandable if I don't appear in different countries. I'm not that popular yet." Shizuo nods understanding better. You pull away after seeing the large pink lettering on the building and of course recognizing the structure of the building. "Whelp, here is my stop. Thank you for bringing me here safe and sound. I had a nice time with you. I hope we can do it again." 

"Are you asking me out?" You blush then snort out a laugh.

"No of course not just suggesting we should hang out one of these days." A cheeky grin sprouts in the corner of his lips. Your actions said everything he needed to know. Your feelings for him are the same. It gave him enough encouragement to speak up. You spin on your heel ready to say good bye. He tugs your wrist back.

"That's too bad. I like ya. I was hoping you would go on a date with me." You stand there flabbergasted. You ponder on his offer. How could you say no to that face. Eleventh is the charm you supposed. You slowly close the gap between you two. You take back your hand to place it on his right cheek. Your thumb rubs on it softly. He pushes into your hand. You stand on your toes, he lowers himself for you to reach him. A chaste kiss on his cheek is planted.

"You're quite bold Me. Body guard." You whisper. You smirk when you feel hin shudder. "I'll take you up on that offer, let's start somewhere casual." You said.

"What like a walk on the park?" He scoffed.

"Sure, after dinner of course. Surprise me. I don't really care what it is as long as you're my date." You begin to walk away. "Bye for now." You bite your lip feeling giddy about your date. A date with a hot guy. Usually you don't exactly date someone right away after you met them, but Shizuo was an exception. To you it felt normal like you've done this a million times with him yet you haven't. Not once. Just as you enter the building your head starts to hurt. You miss hoping it would go away. That wasn't the case. You were given a quick flashback of a vending machine, a few kids being punched and sent flying like earlier. You hold yourself against the wall gasping for air. Painful memories coming back to you. Have you seen this all before? Blonde hair, is all you see taking on group of students bigger than him carrying weapons. You recognized that hair style. You turn around in search for the ex-bartender. To your dismay he had left. You continue to catch your breath and lean against the cool wall to ease yourself. Questions swirled in your mind. One thing is for sure that it was a piece of your missing memory. It felt so important to you. Why was Shizuo in your memory? How could he be in them if you just met? Or did you really? Regardless you had a job to go to. You shook your head and adjusted yourself to a professional manner. Now was not the time to blow it because you wanted answers or because you came late. The fact remains that you had to carry out an international negotiation for your company and this one.


	3. The Date

Four-five, as promised your date sat outside of your department waiting. He came over early having nothing to do. He wanted to see you right away. His leg shook impatiently trying to ease his nerves. The first time in forever he was nervous and it was always you who did that to him. He hasn't dated since you moved away. He wanted to make sure he wouldn't screw up starting by being on time. Twenty minutes pass, then an hour. He was on his second smoke debating to take another one. Why was he waiting this long for you? Should he? May be he should consider the fact that you stood him up. It was a possibility if you didn't remember him. What was he even expecting? Disappointment engulfing him. His heart ached. He shook his head tossing the feeling aside. He should be pissed and that's exactly how he felt. The blonde crushes his cigarette about to take his leave when you spoke up.

"You came." You said. Your voice so melodic it erased all traces of rage within him. The minute he saw you, he became relieved. "How long have you been waiting?" You ask throwing your bag over your shoulder. 

"Not long. Just two hours." You gasp.

"I am so sorry. I had to make up an extra hour because I came in late. I shouldn't have kept you waiting. If I had your number or something I would have messaged you." You run your hand through your hair taken aback by his hand. You tilt your head at him questionably.

"Phone." He demands. You take out your cellular device, unlocking it and handing it to him as asked. He opens your contacts and writes his number into it handing it back. You scoff at the nickname he wrote for himself,

"Mr. Body guard?" You chuckle. He clears his throat attempting to hide his embarrassment.

"Yeah, seeing as you already have a nickname for me. Why not?" You grin amused by the man. 

"Okay, but let's do something else." You type something in and show him what you wrote. "Mr. Sweetheart." You laugh at his blushing reaction. "I'm keeping it. It's official." 

"No." He protests. 

"Too late." You lock your phone. The blonde grumbles under his breath. You snake your arms around his. "So, what do you have planned for us?" You begin to walk with him.

"How about sushi then a walk on the park as you said." You punch his arm playfully.

"Cheeky. Sure, sounds like a plan."

 

You sat at the table with your date, food already served in a private room.

"I hope you don't mind that I wanted a private room. I don't exactly want Tom finding out and giving you a death glare for the rest of your life just because of me. Trust me he's done that in the past when he came to visit me on holidays."

"You…dated other people after you left?" You raise a brow.

"Um, yeah." You chuckle. "I mean they weren't exactly great partners. Immature, assholes always taking advantage of me. I never really understood why I would fall for guys like that." You watch him shift awkwardly while eating. You realize the topic of boyfriends is uncomfortable to your date or on any date for that matter. You didn't want to sound like you were searching for a rebound boyfriend, you were just very honest. "I also have no idea why I'm talking about them when we should talk about you." You rub the back of your head nervously. "So, Shizuo how's life?" You begin to pick at your food.

"The usual. Work, go home, spend time outside wandering around when I have time." You look at him like 'what the hell'.

"Really? That sounds tedious, don't you ever wish to do something else or something?" He shrugs.

"Not really. I mean what could a guy like me be doing besides being a body guard and anything else dangerous which I hate because I don't like violence." You were left confused.

"Yet you fight pretty well I think that's an incredible skill my friend."

"That's what we all say." Simon interjects setting refills of your drinks. "He don't believe us." Shizuo grumbles under his breath. You chuckle.

"Awe come on, we're giving you a compliment. You're like a one man army. You have no idea how awesome that is." You praise.

"Beautiful lady right. It is amazing." He agrees before moving onto his other clients.

"Thanks for the support Simon." You chirp. Shizuo stares at his plate disturbed. You frown. "I'm sorry. I guess you really don’t' like to be praised about your abilities huh?"

"It's fine. I just don't see what good can come out of it if I really don't like violence. I hate it because it changes me into this….this monster everyone fears." You sadden understanding his pain. You grab your chair moving it to his side and take his hand once you take your seat. You rub his hand with your other in attempt to comfort him.

"If they saw half the man you are today, I believe they would think differently. You have them not as a curse, but maybe a gift because you're a protector filled with righteousness. You don't use them for your own device. You use them to help others even when they don't need you. That says a hell of a lot than anything. If they see you as a monster then fuck those people. Fuck the world. Not everyone is going to see you that way. Tom doesn't, Simon doesn't neither do I and I bet there are others right?" He shifts his gaze to you. The way you looked at him filled with admiration was awe inspiring. How could a beauty like yourself enter his life and vanish? What made him forget you and let you go in the first place? He must have really been a fool to do that. He nods to your question. "See? It doesn't matter what others say. If it's any consolation, I think you're incredible." You shy away after confessing. A crimson blush adorning your cheeks. Shizuo takes your hand back and kisses your knuckles.

"Thank you." You return your gaze to him. His eyes sparkle beautifully. So breath taking almost as if staring at the moonlit sea. He saw the same in yours. The smile he wore was awfully familiar. You hiss holding your head gaining another memory. Only in this memory, this boy held a bouquet of red roses with baby's breath filling in the spots. A handsome shy smile behind the flowers. Brown hair this time but with the same hair style. You remember taking them and kissing the boy on the cheek as a thank you. You come back to find yourself held in Shizuo's embrace worried.

"Wh-what?" You mutter.

"You were in pain over your head. Are you okay?" You raise your head.

"Yeah I'm fine. I get them every now and then. Damn migraines." You lie.

"Are you sure? You don't want to get that check that out? It doesn't look normal by the way you were in pain." You shake your head.

"N-no, no I'm fine. Really. Let's just continue eating." You put on fake smile to convince your date. The flash backs were normal indeed, but the newest ones were much more painful than usual. You felt double the pain than any others. You felt both mental and physical. Your heart churned rewatching those flashbacks. A brown haired boy this time. It couldn't have been Shizuo. You thought to yourself.

 

After dinner you took a nice stroll to the park capturing glances of astonished people. Shizuo, the monster of Ikebukero escorting a babe like yourself? It was like beauty and the beast in real life. You were smiling and laughing with him. You two ignored their gazes, all that matters in the moment is the two of you on a night stroll.

"The city lights are amazing. The people trying to sleep probably have trouble cause of all of the night lights huh?"

"That's pretty creative but yeah. You just get used to it."

"I don't mind, I really don't like the dark or silence much. Makes me feel alone. The one fear I hate." You sigh.

"You're afraid to live alone and yet you're independent." You chuckle realizing how absurd it sounds out loud.

"Shut up. I know it sounds dumb but I'm afraid to lose myself to my own thoughts. I tend to get depressed when I over think that's why I'm always on the move. If I stop, I'll just get upset. Laze around, contemplate. Start believing that my life is an empty void."

"Pretty dark. Sounds like you're already starting." He interjects.

"Sorry. You see what I mean? I have to struggle to stay positive or it gets me."

"You shouldn't think that way about yourself. As you said. It's not an empty void if you're happy doing what you love and kind enough to help others. I think you're incredible also." You scoff at his argument.

"Are you stealing my speech?" He smirks and shrugs. "I guess you're right about that. It's just hard to believe." You sadden viewing the stars above you. "Yet, you don't know me enough to be able to confirm all those things." Your vibrant voice now shifted to a whimper saddened the brute.

"I know enough to be able to say it. So far you haven't been rude to me in any way nor feared me only to hate me." Your smile returns. You nuzzle against his arm.

"You really are a sweetheart." You admit.

 

Midnight, that's when you two had to go your separate ways. He escorts you safely to the front of the building. You detach yourself to your dismay. You're both upset having to let go. The cold filling your body from the lack of his warmth. You bite your lip trying to figure out how to say good bye.

"Well, here is my stop. Thank you escorting me here. I had great night." You scoff trying to dig through your memories. "The best date I've ever had in a long time. Escort, casual date, talking all of it so simple." He smiles. Simple. Something he's always wanted without the drama or complications. To live normal and somehow you read his mind. "You're quite a catch Mr. Body guard." You tease. "I hope we can do this again soon."

"Same here." He agrees. You slowly close the gap to pull him into a kiss. He gladly obliges to your request. Your lips touch sending a copy of nostalgia. A craving you long desired. You lips press hard against each other sharing a small, passionate kiss. Your hand runs through his hair, the other holding steading on his shoulder whole his arms wrapped around your waist bringing as close as possible. You pull away to gasp for air. Your breaths brushing against each other's skin. Eyes lidded into a daze searching for some sort of sign. You step out of his arms easily.

"Will I see you again?" He asks with hope. You caress his face lovingly.

"I sure hope so if we're going to continue dating." You both smile wide contagious to see each other's growing. You hear buzzing in your coat pocket and sigh. You were forced to pick it up having an idea of whom it might be which you were correct once you see the name. "I have to go. Tom is worried. I have to put a certain man to sleep after he sees me to calm his nerves." You chuckle. You wave farewell answering your phone. "Hello?"

"Where are you? It's dangerous out there."

"Sorry, work had me then I had dinner with a friend."

 

Shizuo remained standing just as you left him until you were no longer in sight. His heart weighed every step you took away from him leaving an empty feeling. The only thing to comfort him was that he has you. It was a quick start, but again it felt normal. He finally managed to move his feet and head home. 

Just as he arrived at home after a long day, you shoot him a message. One that makes him smile as wide as he could. His heart skipped a beat when he read,

You: Good night darling. I hope to see you in my dreams tonight~<3


	4. Reunion

It's been a month since you started dating. You've never been happier with someone in such a short time. Your first month of dating someone usually felt astringed yet at the same time slowly opening yourself. Not Shizuo. You carried a hunch about him when you wanted to surprise him with gifts and you always nailed it. Vise versa with him. It was magical like a sign from above screaming, "Hey! This is your guy! He's Mr. Perfect!" You wondered if he felt the same.

You had finished work early. You turned in your latest design and now you are taking a day off until your evaluation. You hum a happy tune while wandering the streets. Your eyes sparkle at the sight of a familiar blonde. Your smile falters to a frown. A sting of pain when you see him talking to a woman in her street bike. She seemed familiar, but you couldn't help but listen to your injured heart. He was smiling just a little. You bite your lip clenching onto the bag tightly. You still wanted to say hello to your boyfriend. Before you could jump to conclusion you notice your body has moved on it's own. You had to trust Shizuo. He wasn't like any other. He wouldn't cheat and he thought low of himself so that was a sign. Goodness you sounded selfish. Regardless, you force a smile and start running up from behind. You jump behind him clinging onto him and covering his eyes. He was about to protest when he felt your breasts pressed behind his back realizing his suppressor was a woman. A gender he couldn't attack no matter how much he wanted to. The biker became wary mostly for you. She didn't want you to get hurt by Ikebukero's strongest, yet she was impressed by the balls you carried to attack him. If she could really say that's what this is. Her hands flail as if trying to catch your attention to stop. Shizuo growls ready to toss you off his back until he heard your melodic voice.

"Easy boy it's me." You whisper. His tensed body immediately dropped. The biker gapes in shock that you were able to calm him down in just a split second. He grabs your hands pulling you over to the front.

"(Y/n)." He coos. You beam over your name being called.

"Ding! Ding! Ding! You got it right!" You hug him first then rise to your toes for a peck on the lips. You turn to meet the biker staring at the two of you fan girling.

"(Y/n) this is Celty she's a friend I was about to introduce to you when you got lost. She's a transporter." You wave to the biker.

"Nice to meet you I'm (Y/n)." The biker nods in acknowledgement. She brings out her phone typing something in then showing the two of you. You read a loud,

"A pleasure to meet you as well. You two make a cute couple." You blush taken aback. Same with Shizuo clearing his throat. "I-I'm sorry." She corrects. "Are you not a couple?" You begin to giggle at he panicked question.

"No, we are. We're just not used to people complimenting us. We usually get faces of shock or disgust but whatever." You shrug nonchalantly.

"Ah, I see. Sorry to hear that." She wrote. "I'm so happy for you Shizuo. For both of you. You've finally found a girlfriend."

"Thanks, she's amazing." He lifts your hand kissing the back. Celty once again squeals in her mind over the two of you.

"Well I should go. I have to check up on something for a job. I'll see you two around." She said taking off on her bike.

"Kay, bye. It was nice meeting you." She waves back seconding that notion. "Well that was interesting. Is she a mute?"

"You could say that." You tilt your head inquisitively. "I'm not allowed to say. You'll have to ask her. You nod understanding. It wasn't his place to reveal secrets. Something Celty carried it seems. It certainly was intriguing the way her bike neighed when she took off. The sound also sounded vaguely familiar.

 

Across the road, is a woman carrying a bag of snacks from the liquor store. She hums as if pondering about the situation she witnessed with you and Shizuo. The raven haired woman moves forward heading to her destination. Upon arrival, she enters the room full of books, a bed, and any other office essentials. A man with jet black hair observes people passing by holding binoculars for a clear view. His back turned against his assistant, Namie. Said assistant drops the bag on a glass coffee table.

"Here are your goods as requested." He grunts in response resuming his activity. "Have you seen Shizuo around?" A growl is earned when she spewed the name.

"No, why should I?" He retorts.

"He's been wandering the streets with some woman." She said. His ears perk, he is intrigued by the new found information. He's been too busy dealing with his own problems to check up on the monster. He looks over his shoulder with a deadly gaze bemused by the news.

"A woman you say? That's not possible. Maybe she's just an escort." He theorized.

"If you call kissing and any other source of affection a job then I suppose so."

"What?" He snaps turning to face her.

"He could have changed jobs but I doubt it. He's still wearing his uniform."

"A monster cannot fall in love. It's improbable. Disgusting. It's like dating the devil." He spews.

"Well may be this girl likes monsters. Not everyone is the same." Naime takes a seat on the cream colored sofa opening up her laptop.

"That's the problem with objects like her in the way of my plan. Encouraging the monster rather than destroying them." He grumbles taking a seat in his office chair turning on his computer. "What did she look like?" He begins.

"(H/c) hair, (e/c) eyes, nice figure. Quite attractive almost like-" She stops finding a magazine with yourself on the cover. She clicks on the picture reading the post. "Like a model." She adds revealing your face to him. His yellow eyes widen. His entire being boiling with anger.

"Her." He growls under his gritting teeth clenching his jaw with so much hate.

"You know her?" 

"I thought I got rid of her and told her never to come back. She was a pest. Always keeping that beast at bay from harming anyone. She was changing him. Something I couldn't allow. We had a deal. A deal which has now been broken and violated. I'll see to it that she's removed from this planet once and for all. If her first warning wasn't enough, then I'm left with no choice." He begins his research onto you for the past few years. "Huh?" Naime raises a brow curiously. 

"What?"

"That explains it. It says she's been received in the ER in the U.S. two years ago. Due to a head injury." He read aloud. "Patient was in an accident and gained a concussion. She lost her memories."

"Does that mean you'll go easy on her and remind her?" She was given nothing but silence for a moment. A devilish grin creeping up his lips and laughs.

"Of course not. Amnesia or not, our deal is broken. She will pay the price. She came back without any memory. It could happen again and I will not allow that hope to build within him. He's probably in too deep he could do something about it, altering my plan."

"So what then? Kidnap her?" He shake his head.

"If I remember correctly, she's always around him. It's difficult just to take her away. He's like a deranged man on a rampage last time I did that. He didn't stop until he found her. I swear he's part dog. It didn't take him long to find her either." He clicks his tongue recalling the memory. "Such a nuisance. I worked hard to place her in a perfect hideout." He clicks a few pages searching through the web. "The only thing to do now is to wait. If I want her assassinated it needs to look like she died on accident and I think I have an idea." He rests his head on his hand staring at the image of you posing in your own designed clothing. He used a editing tool to doodle on your face in red. X's for eyes and blood spilling from your mouth.

 

You stretch your arms out after a long day at work and sitting on your rump. You review the time, 9:45 P.M. You stayed in your office a little longer than usual. You wanted to finish your design before the weekend to spare some time for your boyfriend. You sigh content over the word. Possible thoughts swirled in your mind, but mostly wondered what he was up to. You check your last message while you walk yourself home.

You: I'm out! :D

Mr. Sweetheart: At this hour?

You: Yeah why?

Mr. Sweetheart: It's dangerous at night. Lot's of shit happens at night.

You: Pfft like what?

Mr. Sweetheart: Like criminal activity, kidnappings, there was that one Saika incident where everyone became zombies.

You scrunch your nose at the last part.

You: How high or drunk were you Mister?

Mr. Sweetheart: I wasn't under the influence. It sounds absurd, but it happened. Then this whole riot about gang on gang violence.

You: Stop! You're scaring me T^T I don't want to go anywhere anymore!

Mr. Sweetheart: I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I'll walk ya home

You snicker at the naïve man. Such a sweetie.

You: Lol I was just joking, geez I'm not a little kid. Those scary stories won't work on me. I can take care of myself love. <3

Mr. Sweetheart: Not funny! I'm still going to pick you up. Where are you? 

You didn't bother to respond knowing he'd bug you and actually come get you. Your heart races at the thought of the man. He felt like the one, yet you were still unsure. Your heart settled but not your mind. Logic overruled your heart. It was easy to fall in love and have these fuzzy feelings, but there needed to be a balance no matter how incredible the feeling is. You sadden realizing your relationship, your feelings could possibly be false. You rushed in without a second thought, but you could swear it was right at the time. It still does. You had nothing to worry about. The buzzing of your phone brought you out of your thoughts. You sigh reading the caller ID. You pick up other wise you'd have to deal with a long scolding, lecture about not answering fast enough. Clingy and protective. You loved it.

"Wassup baby girl?" You teased.

"Don't" is all you hear from your lover. You stifle your giggle. "Where are you?" You look around you finding yourself in a dark alley where the light at the end of the street held the rest of the city. Cliché.

"Um…honestly I don't know." He growls at your response.

"That's not a good enough answer. Describe it to me."

"I can get home by myself." You whine.

"I don't care, where are you? I'm already outside by the park." He said.

"Well I'm in the dark alley way far away from the street. A poor, innocent woman all alone on this one way path towards the light where I will soon find out my location." You narrated.

"Stop, that's not funny babe. You're making me anxious." You turn serious.

"Sorry, sorry. Calm down baby I'm fine I'll let you know as soon as I-" You gasp holding your words in your throat when you see a Cheshire grin and golden eyes peering at you. So mesmerizing and alluring almost as if you recognized it and your body did as well screaming 'run'. Footfalls echo louder and louder approaching you. You hear Shizuo calling for you, but you're left paralyzed to do anything but take a steps back. You couldn't peel away from those eyes. Then there was an dark chuckle coming from those lips until the person behind the shadows reveals themselves. Spiky, jet black hair, yellow eyes, devilish grin, in a fur jacket, and what's noticeable was his switch blade and his ring on his index finger. The blade being tossed back and forth. This man intimidated you regardless of his stature. Why? You've always manage to fight off punks like him. Why was he any different?

"Long time no see my little pet. I didn't think you'd come back after that deal we made. I must say I'm rather disappointed. I thought I was very merciful for letting you go. I guess I was wrong." You points the blade at you making you jump back and bump into something or someone. You raise your head finding a group of thugs with weapons surrounding you. The man you bumped into grins restraining you. You drop your phone into the puddle of water destroying the cellular device. You begin to squirm against your restrainer only to be silenced by Izaya. The tip of the blade pointed at the tip of your nose made you shiver in fear. You could feel it only slightly.

"Who are you? What do you want?" You quiver.

"I want you gone. Out of the monster's life. Shizu-chan doesn't deserve a lady like yourself. He doesn't deserve any kind of human contact actually. He should be erased from existence so that the world doesn't have freaks like him." Your fear is exchanged into rage. You scowl at the man before you.

"What? You think he's a freak? He's not hurting innocents on purpose. He's only after pricks like you who try to threaten him." You spew.

"Precisely. He has a quick temper. All he sees is red the minute he snaps. He doesn't care who gets in the way, not even you. You'll get hit in the crossfire one day and see that I'm right. A beast like him must be put down."

"NO! You're wrong! Shizuo is nothing like that. Sure he can't help himself, but I know he can change that when given the chance. He's not a monster like you think he is." Izaya covers your mouth silencing from speaking further. The blade brushes against your cheek pressing slowly into your skin until he makes a cut. Your hiss is muffled.

"Shut up! Nothing you say can convince me other wise. I know what he is and I'm sticking by it. You standing by his side is getting the way of my plans. What I want from you is to be gone." He flips his blade then presses it against your neck starting to cut. "And that's. Exactly. What. I'll. Do." He snicker. You squirm attempting to move yourself away from the blade. Your instinct kicks in. You shut your eyes and kick him between his crotch. He chokes dropping his blade and stepping back. Everyone gasps, gawking at their boss as he writhes in pain. You step on the man's shoe having him release you while he too deal's with his pain. You scurry out of the alley scared shitless, but running like hell in search for help. Izaya growls at the men. "What are you waiting for idiots? Go get her!" He dictates. The astonished men do as their told chasing you down. You run down the street through the crowd of people hoping to slow them down while you search for a way out. You run down another path and trip. You groan picking yourself up. The group of thugs sneer in victory having you surrounded once again. You pant looking up at them.

"No where to run baby. Now come quietly or we're going to have to do things the hard way." You glare at them with fire in your eyes. If you had to fight, fine. You pick yourself up and clench your fist as you are back against the wall. You took a deep breath before shouting a battle cry running straight into the crowd.

 

You drop the collar of your unconscious enemy. Ten minutes in and you've taken down at least ten of these bastards. More remained. It felt like an endless fight. Now you know what kind of a work out Shizuo does when confronted with them. You held a few bruises and cuts. You are still surrounded by the remainder of thugs. At least six or seven of them left you breathless. You were becoming light headed doing your best to stand tall amongst these wolves. No way in hell were you going to be taken away from your love. Why would you? Because of a threat? No. You aren't running. You're staying firm for him. You're both finally happy, and no way in hell is this prick and his pack of pricks are going to stop you. Their sneering taunted you, yet you had no energy left to spare. You wipe the trickle of blood off your busted lip and throw a punch one more time with all your might only to be blocked while your target counter attacks with a blow to your stomach. You stumble backwards and onto the gravel. You cough out saliva with a mixture of blood. You yelp when a brute pulls you up by your hair. You hold onto his wrist with both hands digging your nails into his hand to no avail.

"Awe, tired toots? You fought a hell of match. Sorry to say you're luck has run out." One says. He held his wooden bat ready to knock you out when a bright light blinds everyone. A whine of protests are shouted as the roaring engine of a bike echoes. Your vision blurred, but you saw a silhouette of a man run forth to the closest thug sending him flying. A few, cried in panic trying to bail. Each one is prevented from leaving the area and instead beaten to a bloody pulp. You're dropped to the ground. You lay there exhausted emotionally and physically. You faded in an out, noises were muted. You saw him. Your savior. He picked you up shaking you. You recognized the blur. It was Shizuo. Relieved you pass out into his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember Izaya's eye color so yee


	5. Safe

You hear a voice from afar. The words unclear almost muffled. The only thing you hear accompanying the voices is the endless ringing in your ears getting louder and louder as you come to, but not before getting an abundant amount of memories flooding through your head being displayed before you. Whenever one plays it's only briefly with an annoying static noise. Your head throbbed. You couldn't process any more memories. You hiss over the pain instantly waking you up. You gasp prying your eyes wide open. The light above you blinding your sight. You turn away and examine the room you are in. You sat on a bench with medical supplies, yet it mostly seemed like an at home office. You slowly sit yourself wincing in pain. You let out a few grunts when you rise. You could feel the pain striking you from your stomach. You look at your hands discovering them bandaged up. You touch your face instantly retracting at the slight pain. You tried to remember what happened before you blacked out. Were you kidnapped? That was your main concern for some reason. If so it would make sense that you did not know this place. You had to get out. You begin to panic starting to shift to hop off the examining bench when to your relief you see your boyfriend followed by a man in a lab coat wearing glasses and Celty.

Shizuo rushes to your side rubbing your back in a comforting manner. "Hey, relax you're safe now. You're at a friend's house." On cue, mentioned man steps into view with a small smile. "This is Shinra, he's an old friend and a doctor. He helped patch you up." You relaxed knowing who everyone is. You nod your head too stricken to speak.

"Nice to meet you (Y/n). Shizuo told me all about you." You raise a brow and turn to the blonde. "Well, almost. J-just about who you are and your condition. Had to bring up your medical file in case you weren't allergic to anything or if you needed blood. I need to do a few rounds before I can discharge you." Shinra takes a flashlight from his breast pocket of his lab coat flashing the light into your eye checking for a response. He hums every now and then while updating your status. "I was surprised to see you back in town after your break up with Shizuo." You furrow your brows and pull away. He scribbles a few things into a note pad.

"Break up?" You switch from Shizuo to Shinra searching for an answer to what you just heard. The blonde seemed clenched his jaw as if to hint to the doc to shut up. He completely ignored all the signs and nods.

"Yes that's right. You guys broke up in high school before you moved. It was sad to see a perfect relationship end after years of being together." He scoffs.

"Whoa, that sounds pretty crazy. I barely met Shizuo last month. H-how is that even possible and how do you even know I went to the same school as you did here?" Shinra tilts his head just as puzzled as you. He shifts to Shizuo seeming to be annoyed yet hurt at the same time. He didn't know whether to yell at the doc or not. One thing was for sure that deep down he truly wanted to know why you have no recollection of them so he stays quiet. "Does she…really not remember?" An heavy sigh escapes your love.

"No, she doesn't. Ever since we met she has no idea who we are. Nothing." His tone saddened you. You didn't want to make him upset, but all of this was mind blowing. You were missing something and you had an idea why. You step away from everyone freaked out.

"What the hell is going on? What do you mean I don't remember any of you?" Celty wrote something on her phone,

"Calm down (Y/n). We'll explain everything but you should take a seat please." Your chest heaves, you could only feel anxiety rising but you listened anyways. You needed answers fast. "Let's take a seat in the living room. I'll make us some tea." The biker shuffles out of the office slowly guiding you to the living room with everyone else behind.

 

A hot cup of tea is placed on the coffee table for each one of you. You thank the woman for her hospitality. You stare at the colored drink. So warm and tempting. You take a sip after a few blows soothing your body.

"I've read her medical files." Shinra starts.

"And?" Shizuo asks.

"The reason (Y/n) doesn't remember us is because she has amnesia. She was caught in a car accident which gave her concussion. This was two years ago wasn't it?" Everyone is left surprised. Especially Shizuo. He clasps his fist and unclasps trying to process it all in. You had forgotten him. Everyone not by choice and he never knew. You never knew of his existence. His heart throbbed at the fruition. You nod confirming the information found on your file. Should you feel violated? Probably, but this was also a sign to come clean and lift the weight on your conscious. "You didn't come here for work did you? You came to regain your memories back right?" You bite your lip setting your tea down focusing on the liquid as you collect your thoughts as to how to explain yourself. You take a deep breath letting out a shaky sigh.

"Yes. That's correct, but I really am here on business. I just took the opportunity to come back because I was told I used to live around here and I wanted to relive my childhood or rather remember the streets of where I once walked. I mean, I didn't plan on losing my memories. I'm not even sure if I should have even return in the first place. I wasn't sure what I was looking for when I came, until my cousin showed me around and I met you." You turn to the blonde. His expression unreadable. "I never thought I'd cross paths with you and as Shinra said fall for you again." Celty awes as does Shinra. Shizuo shoots the two a scowl. "I'm glad I did. I still want to get them back. I'm not going anywhere until I do. That's my goal here really." You searched for a reaction desperately hoping he would forgive you or something. What you got instead was something adorable. He sat up, leaned into kiss your head and held your hand. Your heart forgot to beat. A warm smile spreads on your face. You hold his back. Your hosts couldn't stop fan girling over the two of you.

"Shut up." He grumbles.

"Sorry for your tragic story, if you want we'd be happy to help you remember." Shinra suggests. "I personally was inspired by you two to peruse my Celty." He squeals. "So cute and simple doing things together and working things out. Truly inspirational." You turn to Shizuo,

"We had trouble getting along?"

"At first yes." He said. "I didn't like you. You were a pest nagging me over every little thing I did." You pout at his insult. A grin adorns his lips amused. Your pout always seemed adorable to him. "That was a long time ago. Now you're important to me." He corrects. "Before we move on though, I would like to know what happened when you cut off. You were still there, I could hear your breathing and another voice." Your entire body paled, fear engulfed you leaving you to shiver over the memory of him. You saw the fear reflecting off of his eyes. You lower your gaze and hold yourself trying your hardest to muster up the courage to speak. "(Y/n)." He whispers softly. The tone of his voice easing. He sits by your side bringing you into his embrace. You felt safe and warm enough to speak. You hold onto him.

"That man…" You mutter. "A man with bright yellow eyes threatened me to stay away from you. He sent his men after me to get rid of me. He wants me gone just because I'm with you." You peer up at him with fearful eyes. "He said you were a m-monster and that pissed me off and so I kicked him in the balls and ran for my life. My phone was dropped into the puddle of water broken with cracks. He…" Tears develop at the brim of your eyes. "He was the one who cut my cheek, almost slit my throat and end my life then and there." You felt a growl reverberate from his chest. You saw his face distant full of rage. His jaw clenched, a vein exposed under his neck as her turns a shade of red. You pull away worried for him.

"Oh, no…" Shinra mutters. "Izaya." You look over to him.

"You know him?"

"Unfortunately. He's bad news. An information broker. Knows everyone's dirty secrets. All of it. When he wants to kill, he'll kill but first he toys with his victim and since you're Shizuo's significant other he'll have fun messing with both of you. You have the devil's luck (Y/n). Izaya is Shizuo's nemeses and I suggest you-" 

"That fucker is going to pay for laying a finger on you!"

"Control him." Shinra finishes. 

"He want's a fight, I'll gladly give it to him. I'll kill him! I'll fucking kill him!" He snarls. You've never seen him so enraged like this. You couldn't believe your eyes. It was just as Izaya said. He was seeing red. He wanted blood shed. His target being Izaya. "Come after my girl, I'll show him." He growls starting to march out of the apartment vigorously opening the door and slamming it shut. You gape in disbelief. You chase after the rampaging brute without a second thought. You exit the building catching up him. You swore you could see him fume with anger like a cartoon character. Your slender fingers wrap around his sleeve tugging him back. He snaps towards you.

"Wait, Wait damn it!" You plead out of breath. Your hair covering your eyes staring at the ground. You clench the fabric tightly. "Don't go please. Let him go." 

"What?" He growls baffled by your request. Your body shivers, droplets of tears fall onto the sidewalk. You hug his arm restraining him. Your head buried into his sleeve.

"Please. Don't go. Not tonight." You whimper. "Stay with me." His expression softens hearing your voice crack. It broke his heart. When you raise your head to look at him, he drops everything. The overflowing of tears streaming down your face strained his heart. "I don't want you to go. I don't want anymore drama. I don't want you to get into a fight, or get hurt or…or get in trouble. I just want you to stay with me. I need you by my side right now because I'm fucking scared and that's all I know. So please?" You beckon. You, why were you the one to erase all traces of his temperament? You didn't even fear him when he stormed out. You stopped him regardless of how dangerous he could be when loose. An arm wraps around your waist pulling you into his chest which you nuzzle against after releasing his arm. He too nuzzles into your hair shushing you. You wrap your arms around his torso tightly crying your eyes out against him. You needed this. You needed him to comfort you. That's all you want in this moment.

"Okay, I understand." He whispers. "You're staying with me tonight." You sniffle raising your head to him. He holds your head to pepper them with chaste kisses. Your nose, cheeks, eyes, forehead and lips. Your wounds were so tender so he made sure to care for you delicately. You felt better enough to know you'll be fine for now. You cling to his side while he guides you to his place.

 

You enter his complex after opening the entrance. He locks the door behind you tossing his keys into a bowl. You shyly walk around taking in the details of his apartment. You blush realizing this is the first time you've ever been to his place. You drop your bag on the counter. It felt barren besides a couch and a tv and other home essentials.

"Nice place." You comment trying to take the tension, yet it wasn't enough.

"Thanks. I try to make it as homey as I can." You crack a half smile. He takes notice of the tension. "You can take my bed, I'll-" You shake your head.

"I'll take the couch. Really I don't mind. I don't think I'll be going to work tomorrow anyways after that beating. Company has a policy about fashion. If you can't cover it up, stay home till it does." He raises a brow. "I know it's stupid. People are all about publicity and being fake." You take a seat on the couch staring at the blank TV. He's never seen you so sad in a long time. He's forgotten how much he hated it. It made him want to put in work just to see you smile.

"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" You shake your head.

"No, not after that. Lost my appetite. Thanks." You grunt.

"Do you want to borrow a shirt for pajamas?" You throw your head back surprised. "Your shirt is dirty and torn." He blushes trying to make things clear. 

"Ah, right. Well I suppose so." You kick off your shoes first then begin removing your shirt. The blonde enters the room with one of his shirts in hand. Eyes glued to your form undressing. He takes in the color of your glistening, soft skin. The bruises left behind and the way your (H/c) hair fell after successfully removing your shirt. A black strap wrapped around your back belonging to the garment which holds your breasts in place. He bites his lip beholding your beauty in his living room. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want. It's been awhile since he's had any relations in bed. You being here only tempted him of the idea. Unfortunately, the time was not right. You are not in a comforting state and he wasn't an animal who'd take advantage of your vulnerability.

When you bent down to remove your jeans, you winced. Shizuo snaps back to reality tending to your side.

"You okay?" He asked concern in his voice.

"Yes, just difficult to bend down." You blush switching your gaze from the ground to him shy to be half naked in front of him. He sits you down dropping his shirt on the couch to kneel in front of you. Your blush spreads growing a deeper red color.

"Wh-what are you-"

"I'll remove them for you." He interjects.

"N-no that's okay, it will only be a hassle when I put them on tomorrow." You reasoned. His fingers already rug down the waist band of your jeans. He throws you serious stare.

"You're not going anywhere tomorrow. You'll be here with me."

"What if-"

"If you do end up going out, I'll help you anyways." He said starting to remove your trousers despite your protests. He tosses the clothing on the couch. He notices your sad expression. Bashful yet ashamed. You covered your chest avoiding his stare.

"Thanks." You whisper sadly. As if reading your mind, he pushes himself in between your legs grabbing your flustered attention.

"Cute." He thought. A cocky smirk gracing his lips. He uncrosses your arms to kiss your bruised stomach, collar and back to your stomach. You shudder watching his movements. Each kiss soft and warm as if curing your pain. All you felt is that fuzzy feeling. That high that makes you ignore everything but what he's giving you. Pleasure. "You're still beautiful." He said. Your heart races. His words resonating through your ears. "I still want you." His kisses moves to your inner thighs. He stops when he hears you let out a small moan. He pulls away to your dismay to kiss your head. You hold his head to stare into those lovely eyes of his. You lean in for a kiss. Your busted lip kept reminding you to be soft. You press your head against his, noses rubbing side to side. "Sleep with me instead." He suggests. You were hesitant. All of it was so fast. You agreed nonetheless having trusted him in the past so what was the harm? 

Before you could rise up, you are swept by your boyfriend. You give a small Yelp of surprise. He scoffs bringing you to his bed taking his borrowed shirt with him. He lays you down on the left side never breaking eye contact. The sheets below you hold your tensed body alleviating you from everything. You let out a sigh of relief. You reach up to remove his shades setting them on the table. You then unravel his bow tie and move to his shirt. On the first unbuttoning he stops you. You look up to him puzzled. His eyes glistening with lust. His breathing heavy, and cheeks red gaining ideas about you. You lift your head to kiss his lips again moving to his cheek.

"Not tonight. You need rest after everything that's happened tonight." You pout in disappointment. 

"Okay." You say.

"I'll be right back I have to get ready for bed." He removes himself from your side heading into the bathroom leaving you alone in silence. You play with the sheets remembering today's events. You put on his shirt reaching three inches past your middle section.  
You lay your head to rest.

You hear click of the bathroom door. You held your eyes closed to see what he would do. You hear his foot steps halt on the edge of the bed. Bed shifting as his bed cover drapes over you. There was a brief moment of silent when you feel fingers running through your hair moving them away from your face. You open your eyes to face him. His lips tug into a half smile. Eyes piercing into yours lovingly facing you. You've never seen him wearing anything but his bartender suit. This was a change. It made him seem normal. You scoot closer to him nuzzling into his chest. Gladly wraps an arm around you while the other rubs your arm tenderly. The beating of his heart soothes you as well as his paced breathing. The blonde inhaled your scent nodding him to sleep, but not before having a little conversation with you.

"Did you always know who I was?" You ask. His breathing stopped as if hitched in his throat when in reality he is thinking thoroughly about how to explain himself.

"Yes." He answers. "But I wasn't sure if you remembered me or not or if you were serious about losing your memories. At first I just assumed you were trying to forget our past. Forget me." You frown and look at him brining his face down.

"Shizuo, I would never do that to you. I'm not that kind of girl to forget someone special to me. Things happened. Reasons to leave probably came up. I don't exactly remember what, but I'll find out soon enough with your help." You rub your thumb against his cheek. "I'm so sorry." 

"Don't be. It's something you couldn't help." He kisses your palm. "And I will help you remember everything." You hold him tightly dozing off.

"Thank you. My lovable oaf." You scoff and pass out for the night.


	6. Awkward

Morning ray's illuminate the bedroom enough to wake up a person knowing the time of day. Shizuo groans staring awake. His hand searches for a missing body which cuddled him just last night now seemed to be misplaced. After patting down every part on his bed, instant fear arises. He sits up searching for you in the room.

"(Y/n)?" He calls out. He hears noises on the other side of the door. "(Y/n)?" He shouts once more making sure.

"Yeah?" You call back. He sighs in relief falling back on his mattress running a hand through his hair.

"Shit she had me worried." He mumbles. He wakes himself up heading to the bathroom first after checking the time. You hear him enter the room while you were cooking him breakfast still in your pajamas. It was an odd sight to see someone cooking for him or any body in general. You look over your shoulder greeting him with a smile.

"Morning sunshine ~!" You chirp. "I hope you're hungry. I made some traditional, American scrambled eggs and bacon." You serve him a plate and coffee and giving him a morning kiss. The odd sense of your sudden shift in mood and feeding him this early is off putting, yet he could grow accustomed to it.

You sit next to him at the table writing a few things down minding your own business. You gasp, jolting at the touch of his hand on your head.

"Are you feeling alright? You're acting weird. Too jolly in the morning."

"Um, yeah. Just a bit tired. I felt a little paranoid, but then I remembered I'm with you. I slept like a baby after that. Woke up refreshed and scared but I told myself not to be afraid of that creep and focus on what I want."

"Is that what that list is for?" He asks.

"It's more of Q & A thing. I've had a few memories come back to me and I'm writing them down ask questions until I have answers." You said. The blonde leans in to read some of your questions when his phone rings.

"Hello?" He picks up.

"Thank God you picked up. Have you seen (Y/n)? She didn't come home last night and I'm freaking out. I'm worried she got into some trouble." Shizuo turns to you unsure how to answer. You notice his disturbed expression realizing whom he is talking to. It was like a telepathy thing. Your bond with Shizuo is ridiculously close that you knew each other's thoughts. You nod giving him the ok to inform him.

"She's fine Tom. She's here with me."

"What?" He yelps baffled. "You mean she slept over?" 

"Yeah why?" There was nothing but silence after that. His phone cut off or at least he believed. "Hello?" There was a knock on his door.

"Package delivery?" You ask. He shrugs shaking his head no. You head over to open the door finding Tom slamming his phone shut. His jaw drops seeing you open the door wearing Shizuo's shirt. You could tell he is misunderstanding the situation. "Tom?" You ask. He shifts over to Shizuo and scowls storming in.

"You! You're dead."

"Shit." You curse. You close the door and step in front of your cousin.

"Tom wait! Listen to me, it's not what you think." You reasoned blocking him from harming your lover not that he could. The blonde was practically like titanium.

"What that he back stabbed me and slept with you?" You roll your eyes.

You squeeze his arms standing him still to hear you out.

"We didn't do anything Tom. I wouldn't do that to you." He argued.

"Tom please let us explain before doing something stupid." The Brunette huffs.

"Fine. I'm listening." You sigh in relief. "Why are you here?"

"Because I'm targeted by Izaya." You hear Shizuo growl at the name. Instantly Tom pales worried for you. "Last night, I encountered him. He threatened to kill me in the alley way. I managed to escape for a short time only to be surrounded by his goons. I fought back as much as I could before Celty and Shizuo came to my rescue. I woke up patched by Shinra in his apartment then stayed there night for protection. The least place Izaya would bother attacking." Tom tries to catch his breathing holding onto the table.

"Whoa." He scoffs. "That's a whole lot to take in." You and Shizuo guide him to a chair setting him down. "I'm glad you're okay. That's a smart call." He turns to Shizuo and pats his back. "Thanks man I knew I could count on you." You pout him a glass of water to help ease him. He takes a couple of gulps to relax. "Why in the world is he after you? What does he want?" You cover your mouth and hold yourself unsure how to tell him. You and Shizuo share a look. Tom searched both of your faces for an answer keeping him in suspense.

"Because I'm dating Shizuo." You finally said proud to confess. Tom is left dumbstruck. A minute ago he was relieved that there is nothing between you yet the worst came up and now another bomb is thrown at him which he knew from the moment he saw you here. "We have been for nearly a month now." Shizuo averts his gaze ashamed that he's been keeping it a secret because of you. Torn between the two of you. Tom runs his hands through his locks.

"Behind my back and you never even told me?" He said.

"He wanted to tell you but I begged him not to. Because I know how you would react. You get so damn over protective."

"And do you see why?" He retorts. "All the guys you've ever dated were jerks or they get you into trouble. Practically ditch you to cover up their shit. Being with Shizuo is like a death wish. I mostly mean that because of Izaya. He has a tendency to pick on him starting the car and mouse chase every chance he gets. If anything gets in his fucking way he'll try to tear it off when possible." Shizuo saddens. You frown in disappointment to your cousin. You grasp Shizuo's hand in yours.

"Stop! I know that, but Shizuo is nothing like that is he?" Tom is left in silence. "He doesn't treat me like all those guys. He's the complete opposite despite his outside appearance." You tilt your boyfriend's head up to look at you. "He's the sweetest man I've ever met and part of me is settled on the fact that he's perfect for me." Your heart races as you pour your heart out to him embarrassing yourself. "Love doesn't discriminate. I don't care what others say and maybe it's the drunk love talking but I'm happy with him. Please. Don't keep me from him." You switch from Tom to your lover. The blonde leans in pressing his forehead against yours. Tom views how you both equally cared for one another. The affection displayed was mutual. He knew how Shizuo is and believed you. He's never seen you so happy same with his friend.

"Okay." He replies. "I'll allow it. Shizuo is a trusting guy. I just can't help caring." You beam at him and hug your cousin.

"Thank you." You chime.

"Yeah, yeah. So what's the plan?" He starts.

"(Y/n) said she can't go back to work due to company policy. I was going to suggest we bring her along until we can think of a plan." Your cousin nods in agreement.

"As great as that is, I would like to change out of my clothes and wash up." You said.

"Okay, first my place then work." Tom alternates. You agree heading into the bedroom to change leaving Your boyfriend alone with your cousin. There was a small awkward silence. The brunette had the urge to ask something personal like did you lie more than just the relationship part? He clears his throat.

"You guys haven't um....ya know? Last night?" The ex bartender stops himself from eating dropping his fork embarrassed. An exasperated sigh leaves him.

"No Tom. We haven't. I wouldn't take advantage of her like that. It's mostly her decision rather than mine." A brow quirks up from his friend. You overheard, purposely, during their conversation. You grab your bag and journal.

"Who knows though." You interject. "It may happen tonight." You wink. Both men blush. An annoyed tick mark appears over your cousin's head.

"(Y/n)!" He warns. You giggle at their flushed faces. Shizuo abruptly stands tossing the remains of his food into the trash and the plate into the sink. He grabs your arm dragging you out the door.

"Come on you, I lost my appetite and stop ticking off your cousin." You pout at him.

"Awe, but it was funny." You whine.

"No!" They retort in union.

 

It was odd walking around with Tom and vise versa. Now that everything was out in the open, all three of you had mixed feelings. Mostly Tom and Shizuo did, you could care less. You were used to Tom's protectiveness. You are not a little girl anymore. You can fight your own battles. You ignored his glances facing ahead with your arms wrapped around your lover's arm. To others it was a chivalrous way, but to the both of you it's a way to keep eyes off of you. If you were any lovey dovely, people would rubberneck and Shizuo preferred to be affectionate behind closed doors except for traditional affection like simple hand holding, a greeting or farewell kisses or hugs. Sad to say you wanted to show the world who you both belong to, yet the world did not accept of Shizuo, so screw the world and it's haters.

You open the door to Tom's apartment inviting Shizuo in. The blonde looks around impressed.

"Cozy." He said.

"Yeah, I do my best to make if feel like home and since family visits me I always have to prepare my house and fix it up every now and then.".

"Because Aunty." You answer from your room. Tom chuckles.

"Yep. My mom." He guides the blonde over to you room after thirty minutes. He knocks on the door. "Are you done already?" You open the door slowly.

"Yeah sorry." You close your journal. Blue eyes widen stunned by your beauty of how you revealed yourself in black and white attire. A white long sleeved, top, skinny jeans hugging your thickness with suspenders and of course black heels to match. You had no idea how appealing you are to him. He almost wants to take to your room lock it and take you then and there regardless of your cousin. "I just had another flash back in the shower." You said taking your bag and journal with you.

"About what?" You frown touching your lips and looking up at Shizuo scared that you probably didn't date him. You shook your head. 

"I-I'm not quite sure it was all fuzzy like last time." You lied. "Let's get going. Don't want you to be late." You rush out of the apartment. The boys exchange a look curious to your behavior. Nonetheless, they followed you out to start the day.

 

Three hours accompanying them on their shift and you were amazed by the work they do. Especially how people feared Shizuo. The marvelous tactics he did to get his client to cough up the dough. You bit your lip slightly aroused by his recklessness. Your eyes glisten with desire. You cross your legs to keep your heat from rising. Now was not the time to gawked at him like a horny school girl. You jump back, startled when one of the runaways lands in front of you. He sneers in victory believing he's gotten away from Shizuo. He looks up and down not realizing he would stand before a babe like yourself. His grin widens.

"Well hello there doll." He chides. Tom turns the corner breathless spotting you about to be touched by some scum. Before he could call out, you jump back when a yield sign slams into the stranger sending him tumbling into the gravel. There was a loud 'crack' noise making you hiss at the image of breaking bones. You gasp getting a quick memory of nurses in a hospital and boy who's face you cannot unscramble sits in his bed all bandaged up like a mummy. You shake your head coming out of your trance.

"Don't you fucking dare touch my girl dirty bag." He growls. You look up at him meeting his soft irises. He pulls you close checking for any injuries. "You okay?" Honestly he reminded you of a puppy. Growling, how defensive he is towards you, and his affection when chill. You scoff at the idea.

"I'm fine baby. No one can touch me that easily. I fight back." You puff your chest with pride.

"You shouldn't be fighting in your condition. Your body can't take anymore more hits at the moment. You need time to heal." You pout. "In the mean time, I'll protect you." He whispers. You hum at the feeling of his hot breath against you.

"Hmm....my baby is going to care for me? Sounds great. I need a break from being on guard all the time." You pur. Tom look over his shoulder after dealing with his client. The way you two hung around each other was kind of gross mostly due to you being his cousin which he sees you more like a sister.

"Alright, love birds that's enough. We have to keep going." He dictates.

 

Noon, and still no trigger besides the yield sign. More questions, less answers. The only thing in common is the boy with brown hair. You stop in your tracks as if walking further will only frustrated you more. Tom and Shizuo look back at your perturbed form. You were staring down at the ground lost in thought.

"(Y/n)? You okay?" You nod trying to shake away your feelings. "Maybe we should take a break. We have been at it all day." You nod again unable to make a sound.

You three stop near a plaza with a fountain. Tom brings you your favorite flavored drink. You sat in silence flipping through your journal.

"Any answers?" You shake your head.

"No, just more questions. The flash backs are slow and it irritates me that I can't get a name or something." Your groan hanging your head low running your hands through your hair. "It feels pointless. At this rate I'll never get my memories back." You whimper. Shizuo rubs your back in circles.

"Easy, (Y/n). You'll get them back soon enough." Tom assures you.

"Thanks." You sniffle staring at the cement remembering your memories of that brown haired boy and a black haired, stoic boy always beside him. Then it falls to a tall boy of fourteen handing your a bouquet of roses. You felt guilty. If this boy was your ex before dating Shizuo then it would be awkward. He wore a school uniform. One you remember from your Freshman year book before leaving. It was a treasure of your last year's in this city. You had to know. It nagged at you even though you felt it was better to forget if it is an old boyfriend. Why bother remembering an ex right? Who would? Nonetheless you ask them, "I have been...gaining these flashbacks. All of them involving a boy with brown hair." Shizuo looks intrigued. You bite your cheek forcing yourself to continue. "I-in my memories, he kissed me, gave me a bouquet of roses, he was always in the hospital accompanied by some boy with a blank expression." I think he was an ex of mine and he holds the answers." You state. Tom smirks as does Shizuo. You knit your brows confused. Should I...bother looking for him? I mean he's an ex."

"Ouch." Tom hisses.

 

"What?" You ask. The blonde spews smoke out.

"I think I know who you're talking about. That ex-was an ex but not anymore." You tilt your head even more puzzled. "That boy was me (Y/n)."


	7. Answers

"Eh?" You yelp. "B-but you don't have brown hair unless..." You stood up in front of him checking his roots. You suffocated the man with your bust against his face. So soft, bouncy and tempting he could nestle into them. Instead he turns away to keep appearance grabbing your waist. "Stop moving." You protest.

"What are you doing?" You dismiss his question finding the brown hidden in his hair. You pull away satisfied and lift his head.

"You really are a brunette; but why die your beautiful hair?" You ask.

"I suggested he bleach it to stand out more so people will be alerted by him. It was an idea to get pricks who wanted to challenge Shizuo to spot him the minute they see his signature hair color. Make those punks fear him." Tom said. You wound your fingers into his blonde locks.

"I remember." You said gaining a small flashback only this one did not hurt. "I bleached your hair didn't I?" You feel the texture of his hair between your thumb and index.

"Yeah, you did." He grunts. You beam recalling the fond memory.

"You complained about how I dyed it. You chased me around the house with a bag over your head." You giggle. The blonde grumbles as you recall. "Then you whined some more when you washed your hair saying it burned and then..." You sigh wandering your hands to his chest. You eye Tom as he waits in suspense. You blush and fake a frown. "I don't remember after that." You lied. Oh, you remembered very well what happened that day. It was your first night with him, bondage wise. You lost your virginity to him and he lost his old self after dyeing his hair to be someone new.

"Whoa, so you were friends before freshman year?" Tom asks.

"No, we we're a couple. I just don't remember when we started."

"What?" Tom freaked. "You mean to tell me all this time you two have been dating?"

"Not necessarily, we broke up because of long distance. We knew that even if we tried to call each other at far distances, it wouldn't be the same and it would take three years maybe more just to see each other. Shizuo insisted the latter which is to call, but I guess my heart wouldn't take it and so I decided to let him go. Cutting all ties." You theorized. "You felt there was something more but Shizuo's agreement said other wise.

"Damn, so you came back falling back in love with him huh? That sounds kind of beautiful. Like a match made in heaven." Shizuo pulls you close wrapping his arms around your waist. He hums content.

"Right? That's what Shinra said." An idea pops up in your head. "Hey babe?" You start. He hums in reply. "Did Shinra attend school with us all the way?"

"Yeah why?" You pull away to take his hand.

"Tom I'm going to borrow your body guard to get to Shinra's. Your shifts are over right?" 

"I guess so. It is late."

"Great." You said.

"Wait! Are you coming home tonight?" You stay quiet unsure how to ask to stay over to your protective cousin. "Look, I'm not your dad (Y/n). You're an adult free to do as you please. If you're going to stay with Shizuo that's fine just let me know so I won't have to worry. I personally think it's a good idea. You'll be safer with him." You sigh. "But if you ever need anything let me know. I'm only a call away." You nod and walk up to him giving him a hug.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I make you worry so much. Now my head is on the line because of Izaya."

"You get used to it. They're just threats." You chuckle.

"Bye, I'll message you later to bring my bag of clothes." You wave to him dragging your boyfriend to Shinra's apartment.

 

You knock on the door after a long walk waiting patiently for one to answer.

"Care to tell me what you have in mind?" Shizuo asks.

"Shinra's been with us for a long time, he may have a better memory carrying all the answers to my question." The door clicks open revealing Shinra complaining behind him about being thrown a book at his head. He is leaving surprised seeing the two of you.

"Hey guys! What's up?" He chirps.

"Hey!" You greet back. "You said if I needed help remembering you would help." You quote.

"Yeah, I did. Come on in." He steps aside inviting you in. You walk down the hall until you're met in the living room. Celty sat on the couch reading something on her phone. She looks over her shoulder and welcomes you.

"(Y/n), what a surprise! Please come in. Would you like anything to drink?" She wrote.

"No, I'm good thanks." You take seat.

"How are your wounds?" She asks.

"My wounds?" You look at yourself and frown. You had forgotten about them. You cover your stomach ashamed.

"Don't worry about that big bruise. It will go away eventually. Maybe some lotion or make up will help heal faster or cover it up if you feel insecure."

"Who is she trying to impress?" Shizuo asks. "You're fine just the way you are." He slouches against the couch. You smile softly at your sweetheart.

"True. So what is it that you need help remembering?" You hand the black haired gent your journal. He opens the book reading each question.

"All the memories I've gained are written in the form of a question to search for the answers. If I can get a few of them answered.

"You have a nice system here, but sure I'll help. Sounds like a great idea to me. The main question is what do you really want to know? All of these questions revolve around a boy with brown hair, that being Shizuo." 

"Shizuo is apart of my memory. I know he doesn't want to remember that past and his memory is just as terrible as mine." You tease. "So yeah I want to know everything." Shinra hesitated as if thinking about your proposal thouroughly. Your eyes beady and desperately pleading for him to comply.

"My memory is foggy. It was a long time ago, but I can try by answering the ones in your journal to the best of my extent."

"Thank you! That would be enough." You chirp. Shinra adjusts his glasses taking a look at the first question. He hands it back to you ready to answer. You held your pen out for notes.

"The boy with a bouquet of flowers was Shizuo. He wanted to gift you something for the first anniversary. He wasn't great with presents so he came to me for help. I suggested a few things then ran off to a flower shop. That's all I remember from that." You scribble everything down and turn to Shizuo with a wide smile. You could see his blush growing a deeper color.

"What?" He asks with a bitterness tone.

"Nothing it's just....Awe~!" You coo. "You did that for me? That is adorable." He turns away grumbling. You giggle at his reaction. Shinra chuckles earning a scowl from the brute. Quickly he shuts his mouth before he's beaten to a pulp.

"The first time he tried to gift you something was a plain rock with shaped as a heart with your initials inscribed in them." He chortles as if to mock the man. Instead you're surprised.

"Really?" You turn to the blonde. " You gave me that? I still have it in my apartment back home. Even when I lost my memory I couldn't part with it. I just thought it was said silly rock with faded initials on it." Celty squeals in delight finding the two of you adorable. A small smile adorns his lips happy to know that you thought of him and kept the small gifts even if you were thousands of miles apart. You add the new found info into your journal.

"Next question!" You urge. Shinra answers your next question. Meanwhile, Celty writes something on her phone and shows Shizuo,

"Can we talk? It's about (Y/n)." He furrows his brows concern filling him up. He nods approvingly. "Let's take a walk, you probably need a smoke after what I'm about to tell you." You turn to your lover curiously.

"Where are you two going?"

"A walk." Celty answers. "We'll be right back." You give them the thumbs up and proceed with the interview.

 

"So, what's the matter? Have you gotten anything yet?" He starts. She shakes her head.

"No in fact Shinra and I have entered a road block. We don't have a clue as to how to keep (Y/n) safe. We thought of many possibilities and landed with nothing. The fact remains that Izaya has ways of getting information and no matter how many times we try to keep her safe or in hiding, he'll gain a step closer to finding her." Shizuo growls in annoynace.

"That damned rat! It sounds like the only way to solve things is to kill him." 

"We could do that, but aside from spotting him in the streets we need to find his hideout. So for now we could do our best to keep her safe until I find something. That or..."

"Or?" He quirks a brow urging her to continue.

"Or she goes home, but leaves without you." The suggestion made his heart drop to his stomach. You leaving without him never to return? He couldn't take another heart ache from you. He just got you back. Why would he want to let you go? Yes it was selfish but he's never felt happier than being with you and only you. He couldn't keep a moment of happiness all because of that bastard named, "Izaya". Always taunting him, stripping away what's rightfully his. The mere thought of him boiled his veins as rage courses through them. He clenches his jaw gritting his teeth.

"No!" He retorts.

"But Shizuo, the only reason Izaya is after her is because of you and he won't stop until she's gone."

"I know that! Don't you think I know that? I didn't ask for her life to end up in a danger line all because of that prick, but I won't let him be the reason he takes her away from me. He's not going to stop me from keeping her with me." He snarls. He looks at the ground pacing back and forth until he relaxes a little. "I just got her back. Letting her go is out of the question." He sighs. Celty observes her troubled friend. It distraught her to see him in such a state. Never has she seen him mixed with sorrow and anger. The fruition of his actions came into play like attaching the last piece of the puzzle.

"You love her don't you?" She wrote. Shizuo hesitates to answer. His mind scrolls to you. His expressions softens.

"Yes....I do." He verifies.

"I understand. Then I guess we have our answer don't we? To keep her safe." He lifts his eyes over to the biker relieved she is siding with him.

"Thanks for understanding. She means the world." He adds.

 

You finished your interview with Shinra. Quick and entertaining to learn about Shizuo and what he did for you. Sad to say you felt there was more to it. You didn't want to take up his time. A couple does need their privacy and night time in Ikebukero wasn't so safe to walk home. That is noted. Luckily you have Shizuo to be your knight. 

"Thanks for helping me out Shinra. I think we made some progress today. I do remember some stuff so I suppose that's a plus." You chime.

"Not a problem. It's nice to have you around. Gives me more inspiration to continue perusing my Celty~" You chuckle at the dork.

"I feel the same. I hope you get your girl. Whelp I better get mine." You wave to him heading towards the door. You reach for the handle, but you are stopped by the doctor.

"Wait!" You turn to him. "There is...something else I should tell you, but can't exactly clarify." You tilt your head.

"What do you mean?" He sighs.

"Before you left Ikebukero, you told me something. Something important which you made me swear not to tell Shizuo or anybody. Your main reason for leaving wasn't because you were heart broken."

Heart broken? Did Shizuo cheat on you or something? No, he couldn't have. He was nothing like that. Blunt, honest and straight to the point. Although he did bloom into a total hottie so you wouldn't doubt there are others who are attracted. Nah, you shook your head not wanting to over think and lead to assumptions or mistrust. You trust him with all your heart. That is certain. You snap back to the conversation.

"The real reason involves a deal you made with Izaya and your family. You didn't want me to tell Shizuo to avoid hurting him further." Your eyes widen. Your curiosity piqued. You walk up to him slowly as if he were a rabbit about to scurry away if you made any sudden movements.

"A deal? Izaya mentioned it to me when he ambushed me with his goons. It sounded important. A reason for leaving Ikebukero." Shinra nods confirming your suspicions. "What exactly was the deal Shinra?"

"Isn't it obvious? To stay away from Shizuo and Ikebukero forever or your family pays the price." You gape in disbelief completely paralyzed in shock. "You took up his offer. You chose family over him. You were heartbroken over it, for abandoning Shizuo." You hold your head remembering an image of you shaking hands with a young Izaya. His Cheshire grin still devious as ever. "You should have never came back. Life would be better without you living in fear everyday. Even better that you have no memory of it. You always were a curious creature." He spoke darkly. Only the reflection of the light onto his glasses hid his eyes. You weren't sure whether or not to argue back and defend yourself, but the information given to you still processes into your mind. You are left speechless. You didn't know what to make of it. All you knew is your heart hurt like hell. You grasp your chest attempting to stop the suffering. Tears dared to spill but gave no satisfaction of letting any drop. You take a deep breath, holding it in and letting everything out clearing your mind.

"Wow, that's pretty fucked up of me. Thanks for telling me." You said. "I wouldn't blame you if you treat me like a bitch. I probably deserve it." Shinra shakes his head.

"Thing is I am a little mad that you came back out of no where bringing hope back into Shizuo, but I can't blame you. It seems like you two have a strong bond even if you lost your memories. You can't help it. You two love each other." You blush at the word. Love. Are you in love? "I understand. As much as it ticked me off, you're both my friends. If you make a choice. Make a right one and don't screw it up. Shizuo deserves better." With that he disappears into his office leaving you alone to walk yourself out. You do just that taking in everything into consideration. Your mind aches having so much to think about it nearly fried your brains out. Just as you walk out, Celty comes into view. You step back.

"Sorry." You mumble.

"You're fine. Shizuo is waiting outside for you." You thank her taking your leave. 

You reach the entrance of the building. Your boyfriend leaning against the wall staring at the night sky after consuming his menthol. You stare at him dazed unsure what to believe. Thoughts swirled in your mind.

"Hey." You greet.

"Hey." He says back. "Did you get what you needed?" He points to your journal. You peer in the direction.

"Huh? Oh! Yes. I did. More than I was expecting." The brute raises a brow. Your tone off noticing something is bugging you. You hear his footfalls close in. His shoes come into views as you stare at the ground. His large hand gently slips into your hair reaching to the back of your head. They brush against your skin making the hairs rise giving you goosebumps.

"What's wrong?" He asks kindly. No hint of anger in his voice. It's usually held due to annoyance or frustration.

"Nothing just tired. Can we please go to your place?" You press your face against his chest childishly. You feel him rumble. A small laugh emits from him. 

"Don't try to change the subject. Tell me what's really going on." He tips your head up to look at him. When he did, he never expected to see you crying. Instantly he becomes worried. You sniffle trying to stop the tears. "What's wrong?" He holds your head searching for answers. This man cares for you. The way he switched from playful to fearful said everything you needed to know about how he felt about you. Such a good man yet you felt there is more you wanted. You turn away pulling his hands away from you.

"I don't want to talk about it right now. Please. I'll tell you as soon as I can, but for now I don't want to say anything." You squeeze his hands. Your shoulders quiver holding in your emotions. You refused to totally break down in front of him. You don't deserve his kindness or so you thought. All you felt is confliction. You just wanted this day to end to think clearly. Despite his question unanswered, he accommodates your wishes taking you home with him. An arm wraps around you keeping you at his side. You gratefully take up his gesture as you head home. You didn't realize how upset it made him to see you distraught. All he could do is soothe you to your liking.


	8. A Night Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!: ~Lemon insert~ I'll let you know when it starts and ends

Three weeks since your visit to Shinra's. For the first week you've been conflicted trying to determine what is real or not and how to deal with these motions. Everyday you looked troubled. You followed the same routine until your wounds healed enough to cover them up. You welcomed Shizuo and slept with him. Day in and day out like a regular routine. You are safe at work surrounded by your employees. You made sure to stay vigilant for extra precaution. Your mind however clouded your thoughts struggling to stay focus. You couldn't share what you've learned and if you did, you were afraid of the outcome of their advice. There was no shame in choosing your family above all else and love will come again, but it's another to come back and pretend like nothing happened bringing their hopes up. It wouldn't be okay to up and leave after discovering a horrible secret. If you ever did choose to do that, it would indeed be best never to return to stop his heartache. As a safety precaution, tell Tom about the situation beforehand if you lost your memory again.

Speaking of Tom, his adjustment to your relationship improved. He no longer cared about the situation between the two of you. He held trusts you both. He hated to admit it, but he low key roots for you guys. To his friend happy along side you and vise versa eased him that the two of you are a match. Shizuo did a much better job of caring for you so much he no longer worried as much anymore. Lately however, he has taken notice of your perturbed form. Whenever he asked you, you would tell him not to worry or that you didn't want to talk about it until you knew yourself. It irked him being unable to help you, yet gave you your space. When he couldn't get an answer from you he would turn to Shizuo ending just as lost as he is. No answer, just excuses. They couldn't very well force you. This wasn't a matter about something petty from the way you sound. It really bothered you to no end. Voice down and soft like you've been broken down, but there was always a line and that line is soon to be crossed if they both held no answer. They just hoped it wouldn't lead to drastic measures and you'd come to your senses.

Today stare in front of the mirror pouting as you inspect yourself. The cuts and bruises slowly fading away. Faint color, but you can still see them. Shizuo walks out of the bathroom, dressed and ready to go after tying his bow. He scoffs watching you check yourself out. You turn your body, head still facing the mirror as you look at the back of your arms. He see him approach from behind hovering over you to kiss your shoulder. You shudder. Your right arm lifted to continue his trail of chaste kisses. The caress of his kisses burning away the physical pain and instead envelope you in pleasure. The heat within you rises forming a Rosy color on your cheeks to his actions.

"Stop worrying. You're gorgeous just the way you are." He puts in between kisses. Once reaching your finger tips, he snakes his arms around barely grazing his hand over your once bruised belly. The warmth of his touch numbs your thoughts away. You let out an appreciative moan.

"I know. I just can't help it. It's a habit. When I dated I used to look at myself in the mirror and ask myself what's wrong with my figure. Why did my ex like her rather than me? They all gave the same excuse that because I was fat or too skinny or because he just didn't like my figure anymore." Shizuo growls. "Some were one night stands which I mistook for a relationship." You chuckle. ",Stupid I know but I was a teenager. Lesson learned." The blonde picks you up into his arms earning a yelp.

"Well no need to worry about those assholes. You're none of those. You're perfect. Think you're fat, you're just thick and juicy. Skinny? You're just athletic. All and all you're stunning to me." Your eyes light up in awe to his confession. Your heart melts. Oh, what a sweet heart. You squeal. You wrap your arms around him bringing him into a passionate kiss. You wrap your legs around his waist once you sit up. He dips you down starting to get into the session. His hands holding your hips occasionally squeezing them harder than before until they lock. Your tongues play with one another having a taste of yourself. He growls trying to get you to give in and let him dominate you. You abide, allowing him to explore your mouth. His muscle brushes against your cheeks and the roof of your mouth wanting to taste all of you. Your temperatures rising close to lustful desire. Luckily, your lugs burn longing for air. You pull away to his dismay. His animalistic side growls once more irritated that you pulled away. He searches for your lips, but you hold his head restraining him from moving any further.

"Work babe. We can't be late." You whisper. He sighs as he is brought back to reality that is his life. Before he could set you down you grind your hips to tease him. He bucks in response. You giggle darkly pulling yourself away from him. You reach for your bag fetching your clothes for the day.

"Not cool." He grumbles.

"All is fair in love and war." You hum content then sadden after a moment. Shizuo takes notice of your humming gone silent. There has been an idea he's been trying to bring up for days, but it never seemed like the right time. This morning you woke up chipper so perhaps it was his chance to ask. What the hell.

"Hey Baby?"

"Yes?"

"How about tonight we go out on a date? Not casual. Something formal. I know this bar and the people there. It's a nice place." You turn to him noticing he struggled to ask you out. You awe at the big lug.

"Sure." You answered ending his misery of fumbling his words. "I'd love to. Tonight?" You ask. He scoffs glad you took his offer.

"Yeah, we can do that." You kiss his cheek.

"Can't wait." You purr before heading into the bathroom leaving him bothered.

 

A date. An actual fancy date with your true love. That's what you called him yet, but something told you that you should not if you only want to deepen the hole. You still aren't sure if you were going to tell him or keep him from the truth. You had many chances to leave but you didn't want to. You were in too deep. You already found Shizuo and fell in love again. You blow the light strands of hair off your face bummed out. You mindlessly sketched grabbing the attention of a few female co-workers. You were tracing the outline several times bolding the damn thing over it's limit. The snap of your co-workers fingers brought you out. She points out your mistake leaving you embarrassed for being distracted. You erase the outlines as best as you could realizing it was too late. You had to redo the whole thing. She palms your back feeling bad about what happened.

"Why don't you take a break girl? You look like you deserve one." You sigh agreeing to her suggestion.

In the lounge you served yourself some coffee. All you could think about was Shizuo and the deal you made with Izaya. There was more. You know it. You racked through your brain for answers hoping to start jump a flashback. Sadly there are none at the moment. You supposed you had to let things come to you like they usually do. 

 

Meanwhile, Tom and Shizuo had collected yet another debt. They finished taking what they needed proceeding to their next victim.

"So how does it feel having a wifey?" Tom teased. Honestly, the two of you were quite the same only Tom was a lot mellower.

The blonde shrugs. "Dunno. I guess it feels good. I've grown used to having her around and cooking for me it's no longer odd."

"Big change can do that. Feels weird at first but it's nice every now and then. So how is she doing mental wise?" He asks.

"A little better. She's still quiet about the situation. Hasn't told me anything of what's on her mind. Maybe it isn't something we should worry if she's smiling again."

"That does sound good. It's better than falling into a deep depression. Which happens various times. She's happy one day, sad the next out of the freaking blue. She does her best to keep up appearances, so I'd be wary still." The new found information makes him reconsider everything about you. How could it be that you could fall that fast? You seemed fine to him. Should he worry? Tom has known her a lot more than he after the move so yes.

"Regardless, I'm going to take her out this evening. Hopefully that will make things better and cheer her up."

"Really? Something casual or fancy?" 

"Fancy. That one bar I used to work at." He explains.

"Wow I am impressed. I'm glad to hear you're treating my cousin right. I believe she deserves it." He praises.

"Thanks. It means a lot that I've pleased you. Guess that means I can ask for your blessing?" He teases.

"Hey! Easy, one step at a time. You guys barely met....well technically, but still I say it's a bit too early." The thought of marriage never even crossed his mind until today. Could he stay in a relationship forever with you? The idea doesn't seem bad in fact it felt like the opposite. To belong to someone, somewhere knowing they loved him back without being judged. You would be his home he'd run to. That idea started to bloom larger than he could possibly imagine until his smile could no longer stretch further.

 

You got out an hour early to have enough time ready yourself for the evening. You wanted to surprise him when he arrived. Look your best for him to prove you are ecstatic for this date. He's done his best to cheer you up, be there for you and so much more alleviate your dark thoughts. He's been your rock and never asked anything in return except for today. Although it did not sound like it, you knew he wanted this chance to make you smile and that would be enough to give him something. Allowing him to treat you special for one night.

You currently worked on your make-up, the final touch. You hear a click of the front door opening and closing. Your name is called, echoing through the complex. You respond back setting your kit aside. You take a deep breath, observing yourself in the mirror before exiting the bathroom to reveal yourself. There he stood, gathering his clothing for tonight. You lean against the door way admiring him in a seductively. He turns to meet you. What he's witnessing is breathtaking. His blue eyes widen scanning every inch of you from head to toe. His jaw lowers with each passing second he gawks. You grin wide knowing you had captured his eyes. You walk up to the pan to shut his mouth back in place.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Your (e/c) irises glisten with lust hypnotizing the male. He leans in for a kiss which you gladly give. The kiss was filled with desire over you. His calloused hands grab hold of your hips pulling you against him. He growls into the kiss starting to get feral. You chuckle against his lips flattered by his desire. You leave him after three kisses stopping him from progressing. Shizuo is left dazed catching his breath. His hot breath tickled your skin making your knees weak. You steady yourself and step back fixing your composure. "We can't continue love. We still have a date to attend."

"Sorry." He whispers huskily. "You're just too beautiful I can't take my eyes off of you." His forehead presses against you. You awe at his affection the wipe your lipstick off his mouth leaving a smudge on him.

"Thank you. I have yet to say the same thing to you until you dress up." You tease wiping off the remnants off his face. He scoffs.

"Alright, I'll get to it." He says heading into the bathroom. You wait on the couch watching TV to pass the time. You lean your head against the cushion after some time thinking about that deal that has not come to mind.

At least thirty minutes pass, making it seem like only a second for you, Shizuo emerges from his room knotting his tie. You look over in awe of how well mannered he dressed himself in just for you. You stood up to approach him slowly allured by his essence. He blinks at you questionably. You give a couple smile dewrinkling his vest and adjusting his tie.

"Wow. You dress up nicely." You woo. He mirrors your smile as he holds your hand.

"I'm glad." He kisses your knuckles earning a shudder from you. Your eyes review him as if something is missing.

"I hope you don't mind me fixing up your hair. I just want to see if it works on you." He tilts his head curiously.

"Sure." He grants. You bring him towards the sink, wet your hands and slick his hair back into a perfect hair style you had in mind. You focused on the dew until you felt is right. You take a step back to marvel at your work. You nod in approval. He opens after wiping off some water from his face. A few strands of hair fell against his face complimenting his well chiseled face. You freeze up, cheeks begin to color red as you stare. You couldn't believe this is the same man you've been dating for the past few months. He was absolutely handsome in that attire. Blue dress shirt, rolled up sleeves, black tie, vest and dress pants and shoes. His hair style you had him wear made him even more attractive. Your heart beats rapidly unable to peel your eyes off of him. He smirks amused by your reaction.

"I'll take your silence as a compliment." He quotes. "Shall we go?" You shook your head trying to relax and get your hormones in check. 

"S-sure!" You stutter. Damn you. You wrap your arm around his after turning off the TV and started your date once you took a step out of the building.

 

The two of you sat in at the restaurant shrouded in darkness and dim lights to set the mood. Your orders have been placed and now waiting to be served again. You look around to find the place somewhat empty. A few tables occupied here and there. Entertainment and music playing on stage. A perfect bar set afar and behind that bar are the entrance to the back room for employees.

"This place is great. You used to work here?" You ask. You look up at the ceiling seeing the lights hanging above like floating orbs.

"Yeah, before that rat bastard ruined my career." He growls. You frown.

"Let's...not talk about him. Let's just talk about something else like..." You hum rolling your eyes up in thought, lips parted as a finger is placed over them cutely. "Oh! I know! How's life with you." He raises a brow. "Before I came around." You chuckle knowing you had confused him.

"The same as always. Tedious as you said." You pout.

"I'm asking what's happened after I left?"

"Not much. School continued to be the same. I broke out into more fights because of Izaya. After we met he's been trying to get rid of me and ruin my life."

"Cat and mouse hunt." You mutter under your breath realizing what Shinra meant.

"Your cousin advised me if anyone challenged me I should bleach my hair to stand out and be weery of me. After highschool I tried many jobs, ruined each one because of my temper. In the end I became a Mixologist, got hired here as a bartender for a few years only for Izaya to frame me and toss me into jail. Tom bailed me out and offered me to a job after thinking my life was over. Been with him ever since." You take his hand feeling sorry for him. All those years without you must have been hard and lonely.

"I'm sorry. I see why you despise him. You don't deserve him and you shouldn't let him have his way. You're only encouraging him if you keep chasing him to prove to everyone he's right and it's not true." You argue.

"I can't help it. He gets on my nerves. Like a cockroach I just want to step on and kill yet he keeps coming back." You chuckle at the image of him trying to viciously crush a cockroach just for being annoying. You would probably have to fix the walls or something after his excessive battle with an insect. "What?" He asks.

"Oh nothing just thought that is funny. I wouldn't mind seeing him crushed." Shizuo scoffs.

"Me too." The waiter comes by setting your order down. He gives a brief glance at Shizuo and gives his full attention to you.

"Here are us your order. Is there anything else I can get you?" You shook.

"No thank you." You give him a small smile while setting your napkin on your lap. He curtsy's away. You found it odd the look in his eyes held a familiar gleam it made you feel uncomfortable. You take a bite of your food instantly finding the taste delicious and causing you to dig into your plate forgetting that you are in a fancy restaurant and on date. Let's just say work makes you hungry. Before you could take another bite you blush finding your date amused by the way you are eating. His head resting on his propped hand. You cover your mouth.

"Wh-what?" You spout.

"Nothing, I just forgot how you ate. It's nostalgic." He leans in wiping your stain on your cheek. Your blush widens to a darker shade.

"You've seen me eat before?" You gulp.

"Yeah. The first time is when we were in the seventh grade. Finally befriended me and had you over. I wasn't sure whether or not to be scared of your eating habits or not. I eventually got used to it over time that I spoiled you with snacks every time we hung out." You cover your face turning beet red.

"That must have been embarrassing." You squeak. He chortles reaching over the table to remove your hands.

"Don't be shy baby, it was said long time ago." Your eyes popped out more thanks to the flustered face of your. You pout, avoiding his gaze too ashamed to look at him. You must have looked like a pig eating in front of him.

"I can't believe you still like me even after that."

He shrugs. "I enjoy all of your imperfections. They're perfect to me. I mean I haven't seen one flaw on you that you believe that is." You raise a brow intrigued.

"Really? Not one?" He shook his head. "When I snort when I laugh hard?"

"Heard it."

"Okay. What about my mumbling and moans at night?" You question.

"That's more of a temptation than a flaw."

"The crazy way I sleep at night and possibly toss and turn."

"I'm usually dead asleep and you settle when I keep you in my arms." You avert your gaze taking in the new information.

"I didn't know that." You said.

"Okay, well what about my depression?"

"Depression?" His brows knit in confusion.

"Yeah I have depression. I rise and fall at times like I have bipolar disease, but it's not at all that bad. I just get sad sometimes."

"I never knew that. You've never had that when we were together. You were always peppy."

"Oh, I guess that's new to you huh?" You frown realizing that was probably one of the flaws he's struggling with. Afraid he might leave you after time of going up and down. "I guess I've obtained it after I left or when I lost my memories."

"May be. Is that why you've been down lately?" You widen your eyes. You knew he's taken notice but you never thought he would bring it up. You shrink in your seat saddening.

"Yeah, sort of." He probably is fed up with it. Might suggest a clinic or something like your mother as always suggested. You weren't sick, you were fine. You were just an adult going through life. It was normal right? You feel his hand touch yours bringing your out of your rambling thoughts before you fall deeper.

"I get it. I'm here if you need me you know? I won't ever let you fall." Your heart starts to pound. His kind words of comfort scurried away your dark clouds. How could you be so lucky to have someone this sweet? You don't deserve him. Not after that so called deal. The reminder of that only tugged at your heart. You bite your lip wanting to break down again. You couldn't, you wouldn't. He would only worry and you are only making matters worse by stringing him along. You truly felt like the worst. You wanted to confess there and now. Nothing left your lips and instead you whisper,

"Thank you." You should not have said that. It was wrong and you knew it yet you ignored your conscience for the sake of keeping him at your side. You didn't want to ruin this moment. The night he's been planning to give you. You promised to give him this chance for today before confessing. You sucked up every bit of confidence to continue your date with some stories and some laughs. After a few drinks, you were buzzed. You drank to numb everything partaking this joyous evening.

Your waiter checked up on you nearly three times, mostly for drinks. You presence that something is odd so for the fourth and final time, you decided to observe him after pouring you a drink. From your perspective you catch him eyeing you, marveling at your beauty. His eyes landing on your cleavage. Soft, shiny and tempting. His eyes trail to your lips. You scoff curving them into a grin. He locks eyes with you, startled. Your eyes already glossy from the consumption of alcohol.

"Like what you see." You flirt. The waiter blushes slightly at the sudden question. He rambles, unsure how to answer. "It's not polite to stare down at someone else's date." You rest your chin on the back of your hand, flicking your sight over to the blonde who watches between the two of you. Once hint clicks, he scowls at the waiter leaving him intimidated.

"What? You eyeing my girl punk?" He growls rising out of his seat ready to throw the male out the window. You panic realizing you messed up. You too were intimidated, but you mostly feared for the waiter. You tug Shizuo's arm. 

"Shizuo, no. Easy love." The name so familiar it left every person who heard of him quake in fear.

"Sh-Shizuo?" The man reiterates staggering back. A few people turn in your direction of the scene whispering amongst themselves by the name. You can see the horror constructed on their faces. It made you sad that they saw him as a monster yet also angered by their closed minds over stupid rumors of how he truly is. What I even worse, his temper is proving Izaya and them right. You tug onto his arm begging him to sit down.

"Please don't do this. Not now. Just sit down love, it won't happen again right?" You cue the waiter to answer hoping it's the correct one. He looks at you then back to the growling blonde.

"Y-yes! That's right! Totally! It will never happen again. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have stared. P-please enjoy your date."

"It better." Is all he spews. The waiter scurries away almost tripping along the way. You sigh as he takes his seat. He grumbles in annoyance. 

"Baby." You coo.

"I don't like it. I don't like the way he eyed at you. Only I'm allowed to look at you that way. You're mine." You raise a brow.

"Really? Are you sure about that?" He shifts to you almost baffled. "Last I checked I am in a relationship with you, but technically have not been claimed by that person. Not entirely." You baited having a delicious plan in mind. You admit, you enjoyed how jealous he was acting almost like a puppy. It made you feel wanted so much you wanted to continue poking at the subject and perhaps get something going. Your foot rubs against his leg to give him an idea of what you mean. He briefly lowers his gaze before returning to you. He leans in. 

"That can be arranged. If all it takes is to dominate you then I'd be happy to fully claim what's rightfully mine." His whisper so husky you could just fall on your knees here without so much as a care. You lean in to whisper into his ear right back.

"Then shall we take our leave and eat dessert at the apartment?" Your essence sent him at a high you could not comprehend like an animal in heat. It's be so long since he's had you. Learned every inch of your body. He is sure he would be rusty making love to you. He would have to relearn everything and since you bloomed into a marvelous woman, the could be different. A plus, to exploring you again. He pecks your cheek, pays and drags you back to his place.

 

~Lemon Start~

 

You are boxed against the entrance door of his apartment. Your lips have already crashed into fevering kiss. Your mind is thrown into a blank engulfed with desire. Your lipstick forming a mess on your lips as the paint smears against his leaving them colored. You pepper his face with kisses. Your thigh rubs against his hips urging him to lift you up. His hand smoothers your thick thighs giving them a squeeze as they move upward to your bare hips. Your dress now lifted to your stomach revealing your panties. Your heavy breathing, moans and grunts are the only noise filling the dark room arousing you two. You yelp at the harsh grope of his large hand on your ass cheek. His tongue slips in at the chance to explore your mouth swallowing your moans. The blonde finally picks you up having your legs wrap around him securing yourself against him as your things squeeze his waist. He groans into your mouth. Your hands run through his blonde locks as your arms wrap around his neck you pull away for air. Lungs burning from the lack of it. He delves down to your neck to mark you as his and remind you in the morning who you belong to. The feeling of his bite against your skin stung with a mixture of pleasure. Your vision blurred, your core's heat rises asking for more. You grind yourself against his bulge needing it to grow to progress. You held him back before, but now it's the real deal. There his no stopping and you didn't want to. You wanted to remember him and this bondage experience. Recall how he pleasured you in the past. Every bit of detail engraved in your mind before you may confess and possibly lose him forever. You bite your lip holding your tears back. Your teeth sink into your skin, blood trickles. You quiver at the pleasure of pain. You needed to stop thinking about it. Forget every feeling you have and focus on lust.

You grind your hips pushing yourself from the door earning a groan as he licks your blooded hickey.

"Shizuo." You moan. " Please." His lips move up to yours giving your lips a lick swiping up some blood before making out with you again. He carries you to the bed gently dropping you on the that mattress. You release your grip on him proceeding to loosen his tie scrapping it somewhere in the room. You unbutton his vest doing the same remaining your lips locked in battle. Your hands desperately fumbled with each of his buttons. You growl in annoyance to the cloth that you literally just decided to pull his shirt off as if shredding the fabric and popping a few buttons as you go. You help shimmy his shirt off. He pulls away to look at you. Your chest once heaving fast now steadies as you stare into his eyes filled with not lust, but love. Yes he wants you so bad, but he also loved you just as much. Here you are trying to forget about your thoughts that you had forgotten about the most important part of feeling. Love. Your heart races as he suddenly changes pace. What was once hungry is no replaced. You are too hypnotised by the way he looks at you. His blue eyes glistening like the moonlit sea under a starry night. Your dress is slowly being removed. In the blink of an eye you left only in your undergarments. You suddenly feel shy that your body is nearly exposed to him completely. You squirm underneath him averting your eyes blushing. It only continues when you hear him chortle, mocking you. The rumble of his laugh reverberating from his chest always comforted you. You feel him lower himself onto you, closing the gap.

"Look at me (Y/n). No need to be shy." He whispers. He turns your head to make eye contact. They stay pasted onto his this time. A charming smile adorning his lips. "Good girl." He whispers sweetly. Damn this man and his power against you. The moon's light granted you to admire his handsome figure. Well toned, pale and glistening from the worked up sweat moments ago. His hair no longer slicked back, returned to it's normal state. Nothing you would like more than the face of whom you love. He kisses your chest lowering to your cleavage and leaving a trail of butterfly kisses. Eyes never leaving yours. "Keep." He kisses your on the underline of your breasts. "Your." Now your belly. "Eyes." Your hips. "On." Thighs. "Me." Your midsection. You shudder at the contact. Oh he knew you are melting like putty in his care. Cheeky prick. He licks your panties where your core is. You buck your hips in response. "Good." He whispers yet again. Your heart races aching for more of his approval. He gives you another lick then another only this time he grazes his teeth against the fabric. You buck in response, always. He pins your waist down preventing you. You throw your head back in anticipation. Your slender hands skim through hair gripping a handful. Your other hand gropes your clothed boob needing more friction. Something to alleviate you. Once your panties are soaked enough, he slides them off tossing them aside. His tongue returns to your pink, lips already wet and pulsing for him. Some of your juices leaking from it's confines. You moan loud calling his name in a pleading manner. Your vision hazy as you lose yourself to the electrifying feeling. You rock your hips asking for release. Two fingers slip into you, coaxing them enough to slide in easily brushing against your walls.

"Fuuuuck!" You whimper. Oh how you forgotten his fingers. They have somehow improved since his armature days. As he explores your body, he recalls all of your special spots. What triggered you into a mind blowing orgasm. Only he knew the spots. Out of all of the men you've dated, not one has come close. Every touch and care he's taking on you sent you to a new high. Your eyes closed unable to sustain contact. It was too good. His tongue makes work of you clit nibbling it. He pulls away to your dismay. You whimper at the emptiness. He scoffs. You shoot him an inquisitive look.

"Not yet." He says. You knit your brow as to why he stopped. "I need you to very wet for me." His voice reverberates against your skin as his kisses move to your inner thighs leaving a few marks. He moves up to unhook and remove the last material on your body. You cover your chest embarrassed. He growls in disapproval, removing your arms and pinning them above your head. One hand only that's all he needs for the strongest man in Ikebukero. He straddles you to keep you from squirming. His tongue meets one of your boobs wetting your perked nipple. The combination of cold and hot rose your heat. You yelp at the sensation of his bite on your whole mounds. He sucked and nibbled the skin above before giving the other the same treatment.

After being so sure that you won't hide, he releases your hands which grip onto his biceps. Wow were they strong. Almost like steel underneath skin. You caress his face bringing him down for a passionate kiss. You buck your hips underneath him. He groans. You notice his pants are the only thing left on him. You tug on his waistband to start unbuckling him you slide your hand in to squeeze and feel his length. You pause totally surprised by his size. It couldn't be true. He can't be that big, right? You look down as if to catch a glimpse.

"Did you get bigger?" You whisper unconsciously. 

"Impressed? I am a grown man (Y/n)." He teases giving you a kiss on your head. Yes you are impressed but also intimidated. He was average back then, normal sized actually now here you are forgetting that growth spurt really hit people and it was about give you a reminder. You gulped. He laughs against your temple. "Don't worry, that's why I wanted you soaking for me. I wouldn't want to hurt my baby." He coos. This man thought of everything. You turn to him, noses brushing slightly.

"Then please prepare me like you did with me before. When we first made love." A small smile tugs his lips. You remember the day and how it all started. He was glad.

"Alright." He replies. He goes down on you setting your legs over his shoulders and starts licking your lips. His tongue pushes inside you tasting your walls. You rotate your hips for some friction. You moan into a hum as it loudens.

"Ah, fuck! Shizuo!" You grunt. He sucks harder encouraged by your cries. The facial expressions displayed from his touch aroused him. He loved each one of them. Your head thrown back, sweat coadding your body as the moon shines for a glistening effect. He could no longer hold back, the pre-cum from his tip, drips as well as throbs for you. To be inside of you. He removes his last piece of clothing . Your lover hovers over you filled with lust. He wanted to cum just as much as you, but he had to be careful for you. He spreads your legs wider rubbing his tip on your entrance. You wrap your arms around him while you stare at him in admiration. You bite your lip as you feel his sex slide inside you. So excruciatingly slow, stretching your walls. You both moan at the feeling of each other. He felt so big and fulfilling that you rolled your eyes back, your nails digging into his back marking him. He hisses, yet the pleasure of your tight walls gripping his length overpowered the pain.

"(Y/n)." He grunts. "Damn, you still feel incredible. So tight and perfect as I remember." He waits for you to get adjusted.

"I can't say the same. You've grown so big-ah! It's amazing." You gasp when he gave a few pumps. You buck your hips in response asking for more. He starts slow, frustrating ? Yes. Did you feel good? Hell yes. Even at a slow pace you could feel every inch of him. "Faster." You whimper. "Faster please, baby." He complies, picking up his pace until finally, he loses himself by pounding hard into you. Skin slapping on skin, the wet arousing noises urging you for release you wrap your legs around him, and help buck your hips at the same pace. Both of you cry each other's name. You grip on to his hair and the other on his arm.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes yes! Ah! Fuck Shizuo claim me. Make me yours already. " You moan. Make me forget for tonight. You told yourself. Dwindle this pain. You caress his face watching his deshriveled hair stick to his sweaty face. This man above you loved you so much. You could feel his thrusts lower it's pace afraid to hurt you even when lost to lust. 

You arch your back and gasp. Your orgasm is coming. So close you can feel it while he strikes your sweet spot. You cling onto him tightly never breaking eye contact. You call out his name in a loud whisper as you both cum. Thanks coil within you releases. You feel both of your fluids collide into one. You quiver as he rides your orgasm. His manhood throbs inside you as it releases his fluid. You breaths brushing on your skin.

 

~Lemon End~ 

Your fingers remove strands of hair from his face as your thumb rubs on his cheek. In that moment you spill your heart out. You tell him those four words.

"I love you, Shizuo." He beams at you. His smile wide as can be. Not you. Your half smile falters into a frown as tears rush down your face. All your emotions you've been holding back explodes. You were vulnerable. "I love you so much Shizuo. I'm so sorry-I-" You choke shutting your eyes afraid to look at him. He shushes you by stroking your hair and nuzzling you kissing away those fears away.

"Hey, stop. It's okay love. It's alright. I'm here." Guilt only engulfed your more constricting your heart. He's too good. You reminded yourself. Torturing yourself. You collect yourself while he continues to ease you with sweet nothings followed by kisses. Your heart eyes look into his worried ones.

"Please. Make me forget this feeling. Don't ask, just do. Please make love to me all night until I can't think. That's all I ask." He saddens hearing your words. What could keep you so tortured. His angel, the one who always smiled at him now seemed so lost. What is it that Shinra told you to have you so upbeat? Nevertheless, he follows your request. All for you. Just for tonight. Tomorrow you had to to explain to him, because he can no longer see you so defeated. He wanted his baby girl back. The woman he fell in love for. 

So for the entire evening, you continued your lovemaking session until one of you collapsed from exhaustion in each other's embrace.


	9. Confession

Waking up to someone you love is always one of the best feelings. You get to catch a glimpse of their peaceful state after yesterday's relations. You even get to admire them in the morning's ray's shining down upon your lover as if giving him a more handsome effect. You blink your eyes open finding the same man you fell in love with years ago right beside you. A soft smile tugs your lips gazing at the way this moment captured him like a marvelous picture you could not remove your eyes from. His fair skin shimmering on his skin to give him depth along with the sheets. You finally awaken after thirty minutes. You lay on your side propping yourself on your arm to run your fingers through his blonde hair. You feel it's soft texture. You couldn't believe you dyed his hair. You were indeed a hell of an artist. Your fingers wander down to his chest. You feel how hard they are tempting you to bite his chest and mark him. Your fingers draw circles on his chest as you lose yourself in thought. You bite your thumb nail determining how you wanted to phrase your words wisely or maybe you had to make a decision for him. You had to be prepared for what you are to say. You feel him shift. He groans as he stirs awake. Everything he's doing has yet to break you out of your trance until you feel his touch pulling you close. He plants a kiss on your temple. You gasp, startled by his affection. 

"Are you okay? You looked kind of gone for a second." You nod spacing out or at least scramble through your thoughts. Your head rests against his chest staring at nothing in particular.

"(Y/n)...about last night." He starts. Something you wanted to avoid. The only thing to stray him from the subject is morning sex. So you did just that. You kiss his chest letting him talk then rise to his neck placing kisses in random parts of his body. "You cried and I want to know why. Is it your depression?" He asks concerned. His body heat rises, breathing pace speeds up as he feels you stroke him under the sheet. He grunts. "(Y/n)..." He utters. You smirk and shut him up with a long kiss. You bite his lip after awhile.

"Let's talk about it later. I promise to tell you. Let's not soil this moment. You have a friend in need of attention and I'd like to take care of him." You baited. You slide down, under the covers to bring his morning wood into your mouth. The second your wet, tongue touches his hot length, his desire for you begins. He tosses his head back enjoying the feel of him in your mouth. Your tongue massaging his shaft. The small nibbles here and there and your hard sucking. You tried to take all of him in your mouth making you nearly gag. One hand massages his sack for an ultimate, pleasurable experience. 

"Baby wait." He grunts. His hand resting on your head as it bobs. "I have to go to work soon." You pull away leaving a 'pop' sound echo. Your lips trail kisses from his thighs up to his lips. You pout at him.

"Come on, just a quickie love. It won't take long. It will be something to remember me by all day while you work." You seduce. You lick the shell of his ear. His chest rumbles at your teasing. You give him two pumps still holding his sex as you try to convince him. He grips your hips groaning at the sensation.

"Screw it. He can wait." He flips you on your back to loom over you. His lips smash to yours as he slides himself inside slow at first then slams right in earning a gasp from your lips. You wrap your arms around him bringing him into a make out session.

 

After your morning copulation, you watch him get ready, recording everything he does I to your mind. One last time. You hoped it wasn't. He finishes adjusting his bow tie in front of his mirror, he takes steps towards you. He lean down to give you his good bye kiss. It was just a peck, but you made it longer pushing his head deeper into the kiss. When you pull away you remember the taste of his lips. Foreheads pressed on one another as he nuzzles you. Your heart races at the affectionate gesture.

"Will you be okay?" You take a second to think about it. Both emotionally and physically. You sure hoped so.

"Yes." You reply. "Celty is taking me to work. You take care okay? Don't go overboard."

"They have a tendency to piss me off but....I'll try." Your man rises to his feet and takes his leave. Your heart wrenches as you watch his back retreat to the living room. Him walking away is a painful imagine to paint, because today you are going to tell him. You will confess and hopefully this weight will be lifted. The door clicks indicating he left entirely. You wait a little longer in bed listening to nothing but silence before laying flat on your back on the bed. You sigh and stare at the ceiling. A tear trails down your face. Then one by one it turns into a waterfall. You cry silently in bed with an arm thrown over your head. 

 

Shizuo met up with Tom at their destination, took care of their problem and withdrew to their next route.

"I was worried something happened. You came a little later than normally."

"Your cousin held me back." The brunette raises a brow.

"Is she not feeling well?" He asks.

"No not that. She's fine. I mean do you really want to know?" It took quite a moment for Tom to realize what he was hinting.

"Oh....Oh! Man, what the hell I don't want to know. Ugh!" He pinches the bridge of his nose as he shakes off the images suddenly implanted. This only had him even more curious. "Did you do it last night?"

"Yes." He said.

"Well did you at least use a condom?" The blonde pauses. It took longer than usual. "What? You didn't use one? Then you knocked her up?"

"Shit, I was so caught up in the moment. We weren't thinking. I hope she's not. It's only been a day. We'll have to wait and see."

"You failed to do one thing. Let's hope she doesn't. If she is you know you're going to have to be there right? I'm not going to let you go that easy."

"I know. I really don't mind. If it's with her I think I'm okay with that." The two cross the street. Shizuo is left in a daze of his mind. Having a child with you would never be a mistake. Yes it's scary and uncertain whether or not this will last or if his child would be a burden, but he would be determined to be there for you. Tom scoffs as he discovers he has nothing to worry about anymore.

"Well, how was your date?"

"It was fine. She enjoyed herself. I finally got to see her smile." A smile ghosts over the brunettes lips.

"Yeah? I guess it helped her. Something she needed."

"I also learned that (Y/n) has depression. Did you know about this?" Tom sighs.

"Yeah. Right after the accident she struggled to regain her memories. Doctors said not to force them and in time will come back. This pressed her into a depressing state. She wouldn't eat, sleep always looked so upbeat. It never got serious like suicidal. She was just upset. We took her to the hospital, gave her meds and assured she would be back to herself in no time. She no longer takes the meds but she goes off and on. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just comfort her when she does fall."

"I guess that's why she's been upset. She cried to me out of nowhere."

"Yes, it happens every so often. But if she cries harder than she is supposed to then that's not normal and something is up." The news about your depression made him concern more over you. What is it that he's able to do to make you happy? The real question is, what is bothering you? Sometime during their work, you sent a message to Tom.

 

You: Hey I'm going to stay with you from now on. I'll explain back at your place. Please don't tell Shizuo about this message. Keep it between us. I'll see you soon.

 

This really has him worried. He types back and shuts his phone off just in time before his partner emerges to his side. He takes glances of the blonde wondering what was going on. He shouldn't jump to conclusions. He trusted both of you and was willing to wait for an explaination when he gets home.

 

You packed your bag making sure you took every belonging of yours before departure. You wouldn't want to come back if he suddenly dumped you. You know how Shizuo is. He would never want to see a returned face if he had problems with them. Relationships on the other hand are something you are not sure it applies. The only girl he's been with that you know of is you. If he had any in the past is beyond you. Regardless, you're collecting all of your thoughts as you sit just outside of his apartment. You lift your head up to the sky. What was once sunny has now been replaced by dark, gray clouds casting over the infamous city as if setting the mood. At any moment, droplets of water will start falling from them. Slowly you are consumed by this brief bit in time. Everything and everyone around you is blocked away except for the coolness that is the wind brushing against your skin. Your spacing out it broken when you hear the familiar footsteps. One glance of your peripheral vision and you know all too well whom they belong to. Your (e/c) irises cast down to the cement. There is no glint of light within them, just sorrow. You're afraid of the outcome, but you knew it wasn't right to keep him at bay like this. You loved him too much. You wanted to spare him. Yet you know in your heart that whatever happens, you needed time for yourself. Foot falls stop. Your heart pounds, drumming your ears from the suspense. It's already hard to face him.

"(Y/n)? What are you doing out here?" Your hair shades your eyes. You clench your bag's strap on your chest. 

"Shizuo…we need to talk." Your tone of voice held him on the edge. Something was wrong. He searches through his mind to check what he might have done wrong or what made you feel the need to do something. The only thing that comes to mind is your sudden breakdown of last night. Looking back, maybe he's made you unhappy and it was obvious yet he denied those ideas. Now he comes to find it's been the truth all along? Your bag held with you is another confirmation. You bite your lip trying to contain your emotions and force the words out. "I have been meaning to tell you something very important. The day we went to see Shinra he told me something. He confessed why I actually left." The blonde shifts to curiosity. It wasn't what he's expecting. A confession. Something did indeed happen and he was ready to pumble that Shinra for whatever it is he told you. The reason why you left? What other reason could there be? It wasn't your choice. It was just family matters. He stood back waiting patiently to go on. "The reason I left wasn't because my mother was promoted and asked to transfer at another country for her job. It was all Izaya's doing." His eyes widen. Just hearing that name irritated him. Now he comes to find he's behind the reason for his heartbreak? How he stripped you away from him? That crossed the line.

"What? You mean to tell me that rat bastard is the reason you don't remember? Why he took you away from me? I swear that prick has interfered with my life for the last time!" He snarls. 

"There's more." You said.

"There is no need to tell me anything else. He's to blame for everything. I'm goanna go find and break that rat's neck!"

"IT WAS MY CHOICE!" You cry out. The blonde pauses. Had he heard right? You chose to leave? No it couldn't be. He slowly turns to you dumbfounded. Tears stream down your cheeks. "He threatened me yes. Then one day he went too far. He threatened my family, nearly ruined my father's career and had us on the brick of breaking down. I never told you this, but I just didn't want you to see me as weak. I didn't want to burden you with my problems when you had your own demons to fight against. I was trying to be your rock when everything came crashing down." You touched your arm recalling those marks your father planted on you and your mother. "I met up with him one day and asked what he wanted of me. He made a contract with me. To break it off with you, leave this town, the country itself and in turn he will leave my family alone and give my mother a great job opportunity that will save us from hitting rock bottom." You hiccup, your body shivers as you tell him the story. You force yourself once more to get it together. "I took it. I broke it off with you and left. I had no choice. I had to do it for my family. I couldn’t take it anymore. All the pain and suffering I've endured felt like a twilight zone. One day you're happy the next is a freaking shit show you never expected would happen. Everyday just kept getting worse, but it was one of the hardest choice I ever made." Shizuo processes it all in to comprehend everything you managed to tell him. How is he supposed to feel? How is he supposed to react to this? He didn't know. It was a mixture of a stab to the heart followed by guilt and pity over you. When he meets your eyes, he notices how dark and sad they are. Nothing but genuine sorrow. "Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted Shizuo. You know this, but I can never forgive myself for taking that option rather than being strong and figuring out a solution. I wasn't strong enough back then and I'm not strong enough now. I know this now and I feel like whatever you choose will be fine with me. I won't blame you, but you deserve the right to know what's been eating me alive for these past few weeks. I'm so sorry Shizuo. I don't deserve you and I can't trust myself. So this is goodbye." You search for an answer but none came out. All he did was stare at your irises with confliction.

Disappointed, you turn to leave when he stops you mid way. "Wait!" He scans over your surprised face. "Don't go." Is all that slipped out. That's all he knew to say. His body reacted on it's own. Watching you leave was something he didn't ever want to witness again. In your eyes you saw the scared child that he was back then. He held you tightly, but not enough to harm you. You sadden having an answer all ready for him.

"I can't. We both need space to think and you know it." And just like that your hand slips from his fingers sliding off to the touch of his finger tips. He stood at the entrance as you walk away. Never once looking back for the sake of both of you. In that instant your figure is out of sight, on cue, the rain starts to pour suave then heavily making the scenery a lot more depressing. He looks at the hand which held you one last time. He balls it into a fist until his knuckles turned white. He failed to keep you again and this time it wasn't Izaya's doing. It was himself. The larger obstacle he hoped he wouldn't be.


	10. Ambush

Three months since you last seen Shizuo. You disregarded messaging him back. There was nothing for the first two weeks before he started spamming you little by little. You read the messages but never answered causing you to a depression state. You cooped yourself up in your room, went to work and avoided Shizuo. Work, eat, room, weep and sleep. That's all you did while reading old messages. He begged you to talk to him, to say something even bargained you to come home. Your heart throbbed in response as it yearned for him. He was yours and yours alone. Your lovable oaf. He was too good to be around some like you who's betrayed him. Yet you knew in your heart something needs to happen and meeting him will eventually come.

On your return to Tom's you told him everything. How you felt to what you needed. Tom understood and honestly wished he could help, but he knew you all too well. On the first month, Shizuo tried to barge in and talk to you but you kept yourself hidden under your blanket ignoring him. Tom fought him or at least did his best to block him, but could not deny to keep the love sick puppy away and believed I would help to some extent only to fail in the end. Tom ushered him away after explaining that you are a woman who requires a lot of space. If you thought that kept him away you were wrong, he would sometimes pop up at your work waiting outside for you. You always went through the back to avoid him and make a dash home. You didn't understand why you are doing what you were doing. You wanted to set him free yet at the same time keep him. It was tearing you apart. Your decision has yet to be made, but you made sure your time limit would be when all negotiations here are settled leaving you to be sent back to the USA.

You are so lost you had a sit down with Celty at a park. You tossed some bread crumbs onto the floor as you fed the pigeons. You are left in a daze on an afternoon. The sun gold and setting on the horizon as the skies blend colors as a result. The roar of a near by bike echoes behind you. You paid no mind knowing well who it was. The owner, approaches you and takes a seat with her usual, leather, black outfit. She types you a greeting.

"Hey, nice day out here huh?"

"Hey, and yeah it is. Much more Serene and calm as it's going to get here."

"Definitely." She agrees. The biker types something else. "So, how are things with you and Shizuo? I hear you guys are on break."

"Something like that. I feel like I should break it up." You sadden.

"What? No! You two were so happy. Like the happiest couple ever. Why would you want to destroy all that you've built?" You read her message and begin to cry. Celty becomes warry and pats your back hesitantly before acknowledging it's the right move to comfort you. You wipe away the small tears before they escalate.

"Celty, I betrayed him. I can't ever forgive myself for that. I chose Izaya over him. All because I was afraid for my life. That's his worst freaking enemy. I go up and leave him without talking to him for a plan. He wasn't involved in anything before I made the decision. I ran away like a coward."

"Yeah, he told me about it. It seems you're distraught over it while Shizuo is just conflicted. He's taking it just fine." You raise your head quizzically.

"What? How? Why?" You bombard.

"It's like he has a resolve. He's done figuring it out. He just needs to talk to you. He says he's been trying to reach you, but you haven't said anything back."

You scoff, touched at the sentiment. "The resolve to let me go I suppose?"

"No! If that were true then he wouldn't be saying how difficult it is to live without you everyday." You ball your hands feeling guilty still for your decision. Celty sighs. "You should talk to him. If you won't let go of him at least do that then let him. It isn't fair to both of you." The biker leaves your side for you to ponder.

 

For the last three months, Shizuo has been trying to contact you after sorting things out. He did struggle trying to process things in and figure out his true feelings for you, but there was no doubt in his mind that he could entirely be upset with you. He loves and supports you too much to let anything ruin his relationship with you.

The first week he felt variety of mixed emotions which blinded him to the bigger picture of what he wanted. For the most part he reacted with rage. A familiar emotion he allowed to take over. Anger towards Izaya more than you. It was all Izaya's fault to begin with. You were not to blame. You were forced in a vulnerable state yet he was upset you didn't come to him sooner to help rather than bailing.

After a month, it became apparent that he missed you by his side. That's when he started to reach out to you. To know about your well being. You gave no reply. He figured you were asleep. After the second day he tried again and again realizing you probably want nothing to do with him. He needed to hear from you. He craved you the more he thought about you. It was an outrageous feeling, that he held a stronger addiction to you although that only influenced him to smoke more than usual to satisfy his anticipation.

At work, his clients became a source of stress reliever. Chasing down punks and almost disabling them. It was so bad Tom had to excuse him from his boss and keep him on a leash. The last thing the blonde wanted was to lose his job. He required it to keep him from his thoughts. Instead of taking out his aggression on his clients, he took up a new hobby to wander around and interfere with the Yellow Scarfs. This madness allured a certain informer into appearing from a higher ground.

Izaya cackles at the display of a maddening Shizuo. "Wow what is this? Did you suddenly decide to play hero? That's weak even for you Shizu-chan. Do you have any idea how exhausting and repetitive it is to sustain that level?" He shrugs nonchalantly. The Raven haired brute dodges an object launched at him. "Tsk,tsk. I don't think your lady friend would appreciate you doing this." In that instant, red is all the blonde sees. Eyes set to kill on his target. Mentioning you from his lips irked him.

"Shut up you damn rat! She's not around because of you." This piqued the man's interest.

"Oh? You don't say? Whatever did you do this time?" Shizuo lunges at the man throwing kicks and jabs just enough to be able to grab his throat and snap his neck like a toothpick.

"You! It's your fault. You bastard! You took her away from me! I'll fucking kill you for all those years." Izaya caught on. He jumps back ten feet away and laughs hysterically.

"Oh that? She finally told you? Shizu-chan you should know I couldn't allow her to tame you and have everyone accept you. It's immoral. It's disgusting! To think, all it took to get you like this is for me to appear. The rest is on its own and I had nothing to do with it. That's hilarious." Not a second more as Shizuo sprints after him starting the cat and mouse chase. For several days hunting down Izaya as the blame to being unable to have you.

While his cycle of hate continues, this lead to the scarfs to hunt down Shizuo and try to put an end to him for beating them down to cower in fear of his sudden appearance. After your pondering, you took the time to take a walk and clear your head of how you wanted to confront Shizuo. You halt when you cross paths with the most unlikely person you wished to never meet. Izaya. His Cheshire grin, wide and devilish as ever. You clench your bag's strap tightly and pushed past him that didn't stop him from following you. You focused ahead with irritation in etched on your face.

"What no hi? That's impolite (Y/n)-chan."

"Your presence is not never welcomed with me, so there is no need." This asshole had the audacity to feign hurt.

"Harsh (Y/n). I've always welcomed you." You stop in your tracks and raise a brow knowing he wasn't going anywhere even if you begged him to.

"Name one time."

"Whenever we meet is an example." He grins. 

"What do you want rat?" He growls at the nickname.

"Seems Shizu-chan has rubbed off on you. It doesn't suit you. Izaya will do if you please?" You rolled your eyes. "I hear the two of you broke up. You left him a mess. I must say I'm surprised. I didn't think you would learn to toss him away like that. I'm proud of you." You glare at him.

"So what you came to congratulate me? This wouldn't have happened if you never gotten involved! I have no idea what your deal is with him but one thing is for sure, monster or no monster he's a way better man than you'll ever be." A pocket knife is pulled out and threatened against you. You shiver at the memory as fear started to creep in, but you denied and stood your ground showing him you were no longer scared of him. You had nothing to lose anymore. 

"Silence that pretty little mouth of yours. It's so aggravating to hear you speak highly of him. Even when it's not him it's still irritating. I guess I really don't like you. Just as I've come to loathed Shizuo, I too have come to feel the same with you. You're like a roach. You won't die and you won't go away."

"Takes one to know one. Rat." You taunt. His sparkling red eyes grow dark and you knew you said something to make him snap. You could hear his low growl as he pulls his arm back ready to strike you when you hear a familiar roar.

"IIIIIIZZZAAAYAAAA!" Said man turns to charging blonde heading straight towards you with a vending machine hanging over him. You gape, wowed by his awesome strength. The machine tossed over his head and aiming straight for his target slamming him straight into the ground. You gasp at the sight. Your attention turns to a worried blonde. He searches for any injuries on your body like he always does whenever you're threatened or attacked. You see his eyes soften just looking at you.

"(Y/n), are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Your heart pounds in your chest. Just hearing his concern over you made you want to break down then and there. You wanted desperately to fall into his arms and return to the way things are. Happy with your lover. He still cared for regardless of what you did? He truly was too good for you. Eyes quiver, eyes blur as tears begin to gloss.

"Yes I'm fine." You managed to say. A soft smile tugs his lips as his eyes take in your figure. His hand moves to your hair.

"You cut your hair and dyed it?" You blush and nod. 

"A little. Just streaks. It made me think of you. I wanted to look unrecognizable sounds you couldn't find me, but I guess that's out the window." He frowns.

"Oh. You wanted to hide from me? Why?"

"Because I didn't think I can face you. I was scared the minute you see me you'd hate and remember what I've done." Shizuo brings you in for a hug and wipes your tears away.

"I could never hate you. Yes I was upset, but you're the most important thing in my life. You're what keeps from going insane." You hug back and nuzzle into his chest.

"Shizuo. My sweetheart." You feel his heart beat fast. You take the moment to raise your head and pull him down for a long earned, passionate kiss. His body relaxes as the world around you stops spinning. Your lips presses hard against each other awaiting for this moment for a long time. You both away as Izaya breaks the mood.

"Yuck! That's so gross! How could you even stand to be with him? I guess two horrible people deserve each other, but that doesn't mean they should be allowed to live on this Earth." He pulls out a few Kunis held in between his fingers. Your boyfriend growls as he steps in front of you for protection. You hold onto his arm as you peek to the side.

"You throw, and I will hunt you down." The ravenette simply smirks unfazed and tosses all three blades. Shizuo pulls you aside just in time but still manages to graze you on the cheek as strands of hair fall. You wince and hold your cheek and stare at the blood. Shizuo snaps that his girl has been struck. He lunges at Izaya, chases him down the street as he causes destruction during his trail. You begin to worry hoping to stop the deranged man from further harming Innocents along the way. You pick up your feet as fast you could go. It was outstanding how athletic your boyfriend is. Jumping, running, parkour. You felt out of shape having always be sitting down, or walking for work. When you no longer hear crash noises, you think the worse.

As you turn the corner you find Shizuo surrounded by a group of men all wearing some sort of yellow. You stop behind the crowd to catch your breath.

"Shizuo!" You call out. All eyes turn to you.

"(Y/n)? Get out of here! Go!"

"But-"

"I'm not easy to take down or have you forgotten?" He pops his knuckles." 

"Awe Shizuo has a girlfriend. Maybe we can use her to our advantage and have him surrender. Get her!" You take a step back fearing the worst.

"You put one finger on her and I'll make sure you don't see tomorrow, punks!" His threats hesitated them from taking action. One stood tall as always boosting up their egos. The same man runs up Shizuo slamming him with a wooden bat which easily breaks in two. You watch in horror when you see a wide stream of blood trickles from his head down to his face. "Wrong move dip shit." He grumbles. A punch is thrown sending the man flying. The group of men engage together with their weapons. You call out to Shizuo afraid to look away. Two men step in front of you menacingly. You ball your heads ready to fight. "I said run! Don't fight back!" Your frightful eyes shift from men to his. Hesitating. "Now!" He demands. You spin on your heel and bolt. Now it's your turn to be chased. The two boys hunted you down like a pack of wolves. Luckily the crowded people on the streets worked wonders to slow down the boys.

Shizuo noticed the two boys chasing after you. He did his best to push through, however the annoying group held him from progressing. He had to to fight quick with his bare hands. Some hopped on him attempting to pin him only slowed him down. The pests only irritated into beating them to a bloody pulp. 

You on the one hand continue to run down the streets. You turn around to check your pursuer's position. As you are distracted to see them in a distance you fail to see the blinding headlights of a truck. The scraping tires brought you to reality and at that moment, your eyes flash before your eyes. Everything around you stops and all you could hear are the warning cries of civilians. The truck crashes into you nearly running you over entirely. Your bloody body meets the gravel. Everyone gasps in terror surrounding you, checking up on your well being. The driver himself panics in concern.

"There's a pulse! She's still alive! Somebody call an ambulance!" That's all you hear before the sounds around you muffle into silence followed by a non stop ringing in your ears. Eyes heavy as you fall unconscious and then pitch black.

Izaya stood amongst the crowds and smiles in satisfaction. The two men that once chased you, saw your body and bailed. Shizuo drops his last victim on the ground as they all scurry away. He pants, exhausted from fighting. That didn't stop him from searching for you. He hears a distant car burning rubber. In that instant he feels his heart drop hoping what he felt isn't true. Desperately he looks for you any sign even called you but no answer. He takes a breather at the park to smoke. Just as his lips make contact with the cigarette, he is interrupted by a call from Tom. He answers and what he receives is devastated news of you. You're in a hospital in a comma.


	11. Flashback Pt.1

(A/N): Warning: Mentions of Lemon~

Rushed voices barely audible in the darkness of your vision. Your body being carried by something while your entire being aches from the pain. You choose to doze back to sleep where the pain is numbed. For a split second you hear a voice. One so familiar it's been so long since you heard their gentleness. You follow the voice which leads you to unlock all of your memories and suddenly they come into play into a flash back.

 

Your body was eleven and hair length was short. You stir awake and find your dad waking you up all dressed up in his suit ready for work. His kind smile greets you. It's been a long time since you've seen him.

"Morning pumpkin. Time to get ready for school. Mom is making your favorite breakfast dish for your first day at a new school." You sat up and yawns stretching your small frame. "Your clothes are left on your bed. Get ready okay?" With that he leaves you to change. You peer down at your casual clothes and force yourself up for the day. Today was your first day to a new school. You moved in just last week. Your father got a better job and wanted to move closer to the area meaning you had to leave everything you knew behind. You were upset about it, but you didn't have a say in the matter. You were just a child who had to adjust.

You walk out of your room after brushing your teeth and dressed yourself. You sat down on the table and looked around your home. It felt foreign to you. The walls still bare, boxes still laying around somewhere in the corner. You stare out the window, something you were accustomed to seeing from your old home. A plate of waffles with fruits is placed in front of you.

"Chocolate chip waffles. Eat up. You'll need all the energy you can get." You stare at the food and poke at it. Your discern your upbeat face.

"Cheer up kiddo. I'm sure you'll make friends in no time. It's barely the first day. Nothing could go wrong. You'll have lots of exploring and be taken easy."

"If I make any." You mumble.

"You will dear." Your mother pets your head comforting you.

"Now hurry up and eat, I have to go to work soon." He chirps.

 

School in Ikebukero wasn't exactly what everyone believes it is. Prestigious, civilized students who bring pride to the academics. While the pamphlet did a hell of a job advertising, the chump who enrolled their child in it is misinformed and actually sending them to a shit show of a school. Your father was that chump. Sad to say, all your father cared about was his work and at the last minute completely forgot about your education until your mother brought it up. Nonetheless, here you stood before the building. Middle school. Your first year at it as well. Your father right beside you, dragging you into the main office where you are received. He looks down at you after conversing with the lady at the front desk.

"Well sweetie, here is where we part ways. Have fun, behave and keep your chin up okay?" You nod. "Love ya." He plants a kiss atop of your head before departure. You watch him leave to your dismay. A piece of paper is handed to you the minute you turn around.

"Here are your classes miss (L/n). In middle school we have periods. It's practice for when you get to high school. The only difference is you have a homeroom. Homeroom is one you stay for two classes. In this case your English teacher here." She points to the name on the list. You peer up at the chubby woman. "Now, let's get you situated. Right this way." She gestures. You tread behind her.

Two halls later, you arrive in front of your class room marked C-1. The door is opened to bring out the teacher and have you meet her. "What can I do ya for?"

"This is your student. She just arrived to Ikebukero. She'll be joining your class."

"Welcome darling~! It's a pleasure to meet you. Let's head inside and have the class meet you as well." You fiddle with your fingers, nervous to see an entire class have their eyes on you. You took in a deep breath and stepped inside with her. "Class this is (Y/n) (L/n). She's new in town so let's welcome her."

"Hi (Y/n)." The class responds.

"Hi." You say sheepishly. You take your seat as class proceeds. Your opening seat was in the back and only desk aside from the right available to you. You sat awkwardly with your hands together listening to the teacher while looking around the room.

"Psst, Hey!" You hear a whisper from your left. There sat a boy with jet black hair, and his round rimmed glasses. "Hey, I'm Shinra, welcome to Ikebukero."

"Oh, thanks. I'm (Y/n). Nice to meet you."

"You're gonna love it here. Trust me it gets crazy here." He chuckles. "Um, whatever you do never pick on Shizuo. He's crazy strong." He points to the boy with brown hair in the first row in the corner. Some kids seemed to already be teasing him as paper ball is tossed at his head. The Brunette growls turning around searching for the culprit. His eyes land on you. You shoot him a kind smile and wave. He blushes slightly averting his gaze as he sets back in his seat. You frown at the poor boy.

"How did he get strong?" You ask.

"Nobody really knows. He lifted a fridge one day and got a hernia and he's been lifting heavy stuff since like he gained superhuman strength from just that. It's so cool. I'm trying to research him but he keeps rejecting my idea." For the rest of the day you stare intently at the brunette.

Four months have passed since your arrival. You adjusted quite well enough to walk around the city on your own. Sometime after school, you decided to make a pit stop to the store. Once you reach the corner you find the store across the railroad tracks trashed. There stood an exhausted Shizuo. The woman at the store looked horrified. She stood back and uttered a few words. You catch a glance of his body stiffening. He stood straight for brief minute before sprinting away. A boy with similar hair followed behind. You frown wondering what happened. You approach the store and speak up startling the woman.

"Um excuse me? Sorry for your store but are you still open?" The woman was shocked to hear you ask and expected you to avoid the place. You bought a few things and asked what happened. To your surprise she actually replied seeming to have no one else to talk to. You comforted the woman and went on your way. You followed the path Shizuo took so you could say hello and comfort him as well. You turn the corner after a long one way to find yourself in front of a fountain. Shizuo and a little boy sat beside each other. You approach from behind eaves dropping on th conversation. The question that broke your tiny heart.

"Kasuga? Do you think I'm a monster?" He was replied with nothing but utter silence. You stepped into view surprising the two.

"I don't think you are." For the first time, brown eyes locked onto yours. He was cute looking. You dust of pink shades over your cheeks. "I saw what you did at the store, the owner told me everything. You're not a monster. You're a hero and anyone else who thinks you are is wrong." Shizuo clicks his tongue turning his head away.

"What do you know? You don't know me. You shouldn't say crap like that if you don't know the person. For all you know you might eat those words." He grumbles. He held an attitude. Understandable after the shit he's given at school and maybe even outside too.

"You're right. I don't know, but I would like to know you. Then maybe you'll see my words are true." You take a seat next to him regardless of his tense aura.

"You don't want to get to know me new girl."

"It's (Y/n)."

"I don't care." He growls. "Just go! You shouldn't be around me if you want to get picked on too." He warns. You smile softly. Even when he's trying to be tough he's concerned about you. A total stranger.

"The that's a risk I'm willing to take." After that he's left dumb founded. You refused to run. He could scare you but he honestly didn't want to. "Here." You hand them each a bottle of milk. "The owner said how much milk you two drink. So I bought them for you." Kasuga gladly took his and sipped on his drink after thanking you. Shizuo however just stared at it in his hands as if contemplating.

"We don't have to talk." You say drinking your milk. That's how it was the entirety of the afternoon. Just enjoying each other's awkward company.

 

You constantly tried to say hello or hang out with Shizuo, but he avoided you to your dismay. Shinra however let you in on everything that's happened with the boy. He was always around the brunette. It wasn't long after you tried to be friends did the kids see you as weird and pick on you too. You frowned upon their childish behavior and did your best to ignore them and just go on about your business. On Valentine's day, everyone was given something. Everyone but Shizuo. Before school the kids handed out their treats. Luckily for you, your treat for Shizuo was very large. Literally a large box of chocolates shaped as hearts. He gawks at the brilliant, red box on his desk. He peers up at you with this marvelous, chocolate, eyes of his. You hated to admit it but you liked them. They were beautiful. You did your best to hide your blush.

"Happy Valentine's day. It's for you. Enjoy Shizuo." You walked away before he could answer. Kids started to chatter amongst each other over your act. At this point he took your offer of being friends into consideration. By the end of school day, you were ambushed by the same boys who have been picking on you and Shizuo. You were pushed down into the dirt.

"What's a girl like you doing liking freaks? Are you a freak lover? Huh?"

"Shizuo is not a freak! He's just like everyone else."

"No he's not! He can lift heavy stuff that normal people can't. That's a monster." They cackle.

"No! You're wrong!"

"Well I guess we're going to have to teach you a lesson." You gasp and crouched into a fetal position. You hear thrashing noises and grunts from your assaulter. You pry your eyes open. Standing tall stood Shizuo with the chocolates you gave him. The boys brutally beaten as they scurry away. Shinra watches outstanded by the display. A hand is offered for you to take. You hesitated but you took it. Your small hand in his as he swept you up to your feet. You hoped he didn't feel your heart pulse from your hand.

"Are you okay?" You nod. "Good thing I came here just in time. I was....hoping that offer about being friends is still open?" He shrinks a little scratching his cheek as he feels shy about asking. He really hoped you would accept. Lucky for him you accepted. You hugged him.

"Of course it is. You saved me. Thank you." You beam at him. He grumbles, 

"Your welcome." Under his breath.

 

Four years together as friends. It was odd for him at first. You would visit him at hospitals no matter the time of day and gift him something. He denied the fact that he enjoyed your company too well. It became apparent after being with you for two years, he wanted to be more than friends. So one day he sat with you under the tree at a park. You spent your summer with him and his brother all the time. This time there was no Kasuga. It was weird at first. Nothing but silence. You had to do the small talk when you noticed how jittery he was. You squeeze his arm and ask,

"Are you okay Shizuo? Is there something you want to talk about?" The boy looked you straight in the eyes after taking a deep breath.

"Yeah there is. (Y/n)? I've been catching these feelings for you and I didn't know how to tell you this but I felt I should give it a shot and confess. I....want to be more than friends. I want you to be my girlfriend. So will you?" Your eyes light up and you face flustered at the question. You never really considered Shizuo that way. You tried to take every gesture platonically. Did you feel the same? You searched through your mind to seek the truth. A smile crosses your lips to the fruition.

"Yes Shizuo I will be your girlfriend." You peck his cheek." On that day you made him that happiest boy ever. You've never seen him smile so wide before. You felt honored to be able to do that. He instinctly hugs you out of being overwhelmed.

 

He was your first of everything. He gave your first anniversary gift. The rock engraved with initials. It was late and cheesy but you kept. It's the thought that counts and his effort to make you happy. He promised to do better next time. Your first make out session was in your room. Your parents didn't know Shizuo was your boyfriend. You never told them just to keep them from invading your privacy. The already trusted him since he's known you for three years going on four. He was the best boyfriend you've ever had the pleasure of being with. He ignited a spark inside you that you could not comprehend. You held butterflies in your tummy every time you thought of him. His presence was addicting to you and you both couldn't stay away.

 

Then there was high school. Freshman year. Where peer pressure is found and temptation rises. Your first year of high school was quite a mess. You were welcomed by Shizuo in the morning. Always nuzzling to your side while Shinra fan boyed over your relationship. At school he never left your side except for classes. Every afternoon he was caught in a fight with a bunch of gang bangers or anyone else who dared challenge him. You watched him nearly destroy the school as he used any object he could get his hands on to defend himself. You worried about him at first then began to worry for the enemies and soon his temper. It nearly got him suspended. So it was up to you to tame the beast.

The two of you walked out hand in hand, fingers laced after school. "You really shouldn't fight so much. You'll get in trouble again and then I won't be able to see you again. Is that really what you want?"

"No, of course not. But there is nothing wrong with a little Romeo and Juliet right?" He teased.

"Nope, but I still don't want to be apart from you." You pout. He sighs.

"Okay, okay, I'll behave." He kisses the top of your head settling the argument.

"Yo! Shizuo! (Y/n)! I want to introduce you to someone." You both halt in your tracks and approach Shinra with a ominous looking teen.

"What's up?" You ask.

"This is Izaya. He's new here and I wanted to introduce you to him."

"Oh! Hello my name is-"

"(Y/n). I know. You're quite a looker according to the boys here." He smirks. You hear a growl reverberate from Shizuo.

"What?" Ignoring the question, Izaya moves up to your boyfriend.

"Ah and you must be the strangers man of Ikebukero. I'd like to see you get cut into several pieces. Think you can survive that?" Just like that he snaps. His fist is thrown right towards Izaya missing causing the bench to break instead. Izaya dodges an attack then counters the next with a slash to his chest by a switch blade. You gasp worried for him.

"Shizuo!" You cry out.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk Shizu-chan. You really shouldn't attack an armed student. You're so impolite." At that, your lover sprints after him. The first car and mouse chase. It was horrible. You've never seen him act so pissed.

"Shinra what have you done?"

"Nothing. Izaya likes to experiment too."

"What? You jackass! I should have your head for this. You're going to help me stop him."

"It's not a good idea to interfere-"

"Now glasses!" You snarl. The teen's knees shivers in fear. You roll your eyes. "Ugh, never mind. So useless." You run into the track and manage to step in front of Shizuo before he could do any more public damage. Your arms held open with an angry look. He halts his attempts as he watches Izaya flee from sight. He growls at you.

"Why did you stop me?" He hears his face against yours. You stood tall and pointed at the wreckage left behind him. He relaxes after seeing what he's done.

"Baby you promised no more fighting. Look what you've done." Shizuo frowns hearing you so upset.

"I'm sorry he just ticked me off. I don't like him. Something about him irritates me." You sigh and look at the cut on his chest.

"At least you're okay. Now let's go and take care of that wound before the dean shows up." You grab his hand and lead him out.

After meeting Izaya, he's sent his goons to challenge the strongest man. Every afternoon it was a fight. It was exhausting having to patch him up after Shinra couldn't. You had enough of it. You worried so much about him that you broke into tears. In that moment he vowed to take it easy. He couldn't help that he allured people. It was an agreement. As close as you could get. You refused to lose him so you took it. That next day he waited outside of school to give a bouquet of flowers. You gasp in awe.

"Shizuo these are beautiful." You gladly take them admiring their fragrance and beauty." 

"Happy Anniversary babe." He leans in for kiss. You boost yourself up on your tippy toes for his kiss. "I'm glad you like them I promised I'd do better didn't I?" Your heart pounds a million times faster to the promise. You couldn't believe he kept it in mind after a year. You pounce on him smashing your lips against his into a fevering one. Tongues fighting over dominance. You both desired more. Yet you weren't sure if it was the right time. You pulled away before you could get hotter from the temperature. You tried to catch your breath as you stare at one another's eyes.

"Thank you. These are lovely honey." You coo pecking his cheek once more before heading inside fingers interlocked. He took you on a date after school.

 

Friday came and went. You sighed after another end of school.

"What's wrong?" Shizuo asks.

"Ah, nothing. Just a little bummed out that I'll be alone again this time of year. Mom goes to work in the afternoon and doesn't come back till three while Dad arrives around midnight. I get creeped out at night."

"Wait you've been living alone all this time?" He asks baffled.

"No, no. Around March, mom gets called in for work. It's supposed to be the busiest time of year for her company. It's only temporary."

"Oh, I get it. Why haven't you told me before?" You shrug.

"I didn't want to make you worry. Plus it was fun for a time then that remaining days it just got lonely." You said.

"Then why don't stay with you every night? Until their schedule is normal."

"What?" You begin to chortle. "My dad would scold us for sleeping together."

"I'll sneak out before he arrives." You blush at the idea. It felt exciting for you.

"Sure, okay. I'm sure they won't mind. They trust you."

"Good. Then let's go." He kisses your hand escorting you. For days it was like that until the brute suddenly zoned out while fiddling with his hair. You close the book you were reading to him during class.

"Okay, something wrong? You keep playing with your hair." He looks at you and stares at a strand.

"Sorry, just wondering if I should actually....bleach my hair." You gape at him.

"What? Bleach your hair? Why? You look cute as a Brunette."

"That's not why. A friend of mine suggested I dyed it to stand out from the crowd. So people can be warry."

You raise a brow. "You really want to do that?"

"Yeah why not? It might be nice. Then jerks won't cause me problems and know who I am. Strike fear in them." You frown upon the decision yet the look upon his face persuaded you otherwise. 

"Okay then, after school we'll head to the store and dye it at my place." You chime. You catch him smile softly at you.

"Okay. Thanks babe you're the best." He kisses your cheek. You giggle grabbing the attention of the teacher.

"Ahem! This isn't recess. Keep this affection our of class." You blush and return to your table.

"Sorry." You apologize. No one dared giggle. They knew you belonged to Shizuo. Anything that would upset you was like a felony to the teen and they would be severely punished.

 

After school, you head straight to the store, picked out a color dye and headed home with some snacks. Your mother was dressed, ready to go to work. She was happy to see you and Shizuo together. Never did her smile falter around him. "Welcome home dear. Shizuo! Nice to see you as well. Such a good friend taking care of my daughter." The brute blushes sheepishly.

"Thanks." Your mom taps his cheek affectionately as she finds him rather adorable.

"So what's on the agenda?" You smile wide pulling out a box of hair dye.

"We're going to bleach Shizuo's hair." You chirp.

"Oh my! That's exciting. I can't wait to see. Do send me picture when you're all done. I really want to see that." 

"Sure." The honking of a car pulls the three of you out of the conversation.

"Whelp! There's my ride. I better get going. Your aunt gets impatient. See you soon. Shizuo take care of my girl." She trots off.

"I will." You both wave to your mother as she departs. You look up to your boyfriend excitedly.

"Ready for your hair to be colored?" He scoffs at your adorableness.

"Yeah. Let's head inside."

 

Dying his hair was success, you painted each strand down to the root. You were quite the artist and perfectionist when it came down to art. He waited patiently, while watching TV in your room.

"Viola! Ready to be washed now that it sat for thirty minutes." You pull away the towel and gasp. There was dye on his collar, how uniform tainted with yellow. "Oh no! Your uniform is stained. I'm sorry. Ugh, I knew this would be messy." You pout. Shizuo looks over his shoulder to find liquid on his shoulders as well.

"It's fine. You can always wash them right?" You nod.

"Oh, yeah! That's right." You perk up. "Let me wash those for you, in the mean time you may want to shower. It's on your skin too. Just put your clothes in the basket, I'll wash them for you and fetch you a pair of clothes." You said. Shizuo knew the routine. This wasn't his first shower at your place. He would sometimes arrive dirty from fights and so you had forced him to shower. You enjoyed having your room today, you didn't want dirt scatter your room.

 

Just as you had put everything away, you hear that door squeak open. You turn to find a gorgeous blonde wearing nothing but the towel on his waist. Your heart races at the sight of him in his glory. The droplets of water made his body glisten as if shinning a spotlight on the man. Once your eyes lock onto his Brown eyes, you blush. He was grinning at you. You avert your gaze feeling embarrassed that you took the time to stare at him.

"A-ah, I'm sorry I didn't mean to stare. Why are you in here naked anyways?" You stutter.

"You forgot to hand me clothes."

"Uh, o-oh! Right sorry. I'll go fetch some." You look down as you brush past him, but before you could even reach the handle, an arm pulls you to his side. You gasp at the suddenness. You peer up in question. Instead your lips instantly collide with his. Your eyes widen in surprise processing in what is happening. You close your eyes after awhile enjoying your lips eating one another. Once tongues are battling, things get heated, bodies press as close as possible to each other. You're driven backwards till the back of your legs hit your bed and you fall down with him. Legs automatically cling to his waist loosening the towel. Your mind started to feel in a daze when his rough hands snuck underneath your shirt, up to your breasts. He squeezes one causing you to let out a gasp and a moan. Fingers tangled into his dyed locks while the grips onto his biceps. His mother attacks your neck and down to your collar. You buck your hips. Your body craved for more. Something to relieve you. All you could do is grind against him. In return, his lower half closes the gap as you create friction. You feel his bulge poking at your entrance. The only thing blocking him was your panties and the towel still wrapped around him. Your eyes pry open, watery from being dazed. You feel cold once your shirt is unbuttoned. Your cleavage exposed for him to see. The blonde pulls away to take a look. In that brief moment, you realize you both were going too far. Way farther than usual. You sit up panicked. Shizuo looks at your worried face.

"Sorry. I-I didn't meant to-" Your eyes soften at how genuinely sorry he was for nearly undressing you without permission. You scoff and caress his face. 

"It's okay, we've waited long enough. Two years is enough. Maybe it is time to move forward." He looks at you in surprise. "We're both teenagers. This was bound to happen and whom else do I want to give myself than to you." You kiss him.

"Are you sure? I don't...want to break you with my strength or have you regret it or something." You giggle at his sweetness.

"Oh Shizuo, of course I am sure. I trust you." You coo. Your eyes held so much love and trust for him that he couldn't help but be enamored by such a beautiful girl. So understanding and patient with him. You remove your clothes completely leaving only your braw and under garment. You unhook your bra and cover your chest as you remove it from it's confines. Your breasts now loose, bounced freely, glistening in the moonlight. You blush, too shy to face your boyfriend. He gawks at your beauty. He's never seen such a gorgeous being in his life. That bashful face only melted him. He scoffs scooting closer. He tips your head up to look at him. The admiration in his eyes made you feel lost and loved. You relaxed under his gaze that you dropped your hand letting them be exposed. You close your eyes for the approaching kiss. 

He lays you down gently. His hand reaches for his towel, removing the fabric off and tossing it on to the floor. Temperature rises when he leaves marks here and there on your skin as butterfly kisses trail sweetly from your chest down to your belly button. Fingers hook on to your Lacy underwear, slowly but surely pulling them off of you leaving nothing on. His first look of your midsection. So juicy and tempting. He rubs a few fingers at your entrance. The first touches made you shiver. It worried him but you assured him it felt good. You bite your lip as you watch the blonde explore you with curiosity. He laps once earning a moan. One he adored to hear. His eyes watched your face shift expressions of pure pleasure.

After licking your center, he's noticed how sticky and wet it's gotten. His fingers covered in your wetness. He licks his lips and observes you.

"My fingers are going in. Ready?" You take a deep breath and nod. One finger slides in gently. You grunt from the force. You feel it wiggle inside you. You arch your back as you groan. He looks over you, swallowing your whimpers. Another finger is insert. You yelp once full inside you. His fingers rotate in you, brushing your walls as he stretches you out. His mouth does his best to preoccupy you as he pumps in and out of you slowly.

Ten minutes later, you are now adjusted to his fingers with a twinge of pain lurking every now and then. To your dismay, he retracts his fingers. You pout.

"What gives?"

"We need a condom." He chuckles.

"Oh, right. Um..." You look around your room for something as you think.

"No worries, I actually bought some." He reaches into the bag and pulls out a small box full of latex. You are left flabbergasted. How on Earth did he know?

"Did you know we were going to- did you plan this?"

"No, I always get a pack in case you ever want to. You never know when the time is right you said." You blush hard. 

"That must be embarrassing to fetch." He shrugs.

"You get used to it. I honestly don't care what they think." He pulls out one and unwraps it. "The only one that matters is what you think." He looms over you once again throwing the sheets over his waist in case of anything. You cup his cheek.

"Shizuo... You really are perfect. The only one for me." The blonde nuzzles into your hand. You feel his tip rub against your entrance. You shudder at the foreign feeling.

"I'm going to push inside you. " You nod holding onto his arms. He pushes himself inside you slowly until you take half of him in. You groan in pain digging your nails into his arms. He winces but holds on for your sake. Once fully penetrated he waits for you to adjust to his girth. A hand gropes your mound, pinching and pulling your perked nipple to give you a balance of pleasure. Finally, after a time you buck your hips to test the waters. He takes the motion as a cue to start pumping. His forehead presses against yours as he pushes deeper and the pace picks up. Your legs wrap around his waist urging him to go faster and enter deeper. You nestle into his neck catching your breath as you enjoy the unfathomable pleasure. 

"Shizuo, Shizuo!" You chant. "Harder." You plead. "Please, please I want to cum." You whimper when you feel him grow in size within you. Your pleads aroused him so much he complied with your wishes. He just wanted to satisfy you, to hear those beautiful moans come out of your lips. Your coil that's been knead was coming undone, your walls clenched his shaft leaving his pace erratic until you both cum. You quiver in his arms. He holds you tight as he too cums. You stay bonded for awhile to catch your breaths. He peppers your face with kisses . His affectionate side returning. He pulls out to remove the latex before cuddling you close. You rub circles on his chest as you lull yourself to sleep.


	12. Flashback Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of Lemon/Lime~

After you both lost your virginity to each other, you both made love like crazy. Enjoying it for the pleasure but most importantly, the heated passion you both held for one another. The raw feeling of love fueled your desires. You two were like rabbits. Finding any chance to fool around. You've done it nearly everyone in the schools. Under the bleachers, locker rooms, physics lab after school. Currently, you were in the boys bathroom, in one of the stalls being fingered by your boyfriend. Your moans, swallowed by your make out. You sucked and you bit his lip, challenged his tongue until you pulled away leaving a strand of saliva connected to you and his lips. His fingers pumped inside of you rapidly. Your juices already dripping into his hand coadding them.

"Shizuo, please." You beg. He growls in response removing his fingers. He lifts you up after unzipping himself. Your entrance being replaced by his member. You hold on to him as thrusts hard into you. You muffle your mouth with your hand to keep quiet. You stare at the ceiling with watery eyes. Not long did you hear someone enter. That person being Shinra. You can already hear his babbling about his theory on Shizuo's strength and he can possible neutralize or access them for personal gain. You rolled your eyes out of annoyance and pleasure. You hear your boyfriend growl feeling the same until he cums inside you. You whimper as you cum with him. You rest your head against his catching your breaths. You fix yourself up and exit the stall with an irritated Shizuo.

"Ever heard of privacy?" The blonde asks.

"Well technically this is a school so this is public and besides you two are always at it like dogs."

"So what? Don't you have anyone else to bother." The ravenette frowns.

"No not exactly. Except for Kadota and Izaya." Shizuo growls.

 

"Never mention that bastards name." He leans his face towards his friend scaring him. You sigh and pull the blonde aside shifting his anger to soften.

"Easy big boy. He's not worth getting riled up for. Come on, lunch will be over soon." You peck his lips earning a hum of satisfaction as he follows you out. As you trail out with your love, a certain ravenette watches you from afar. He walks up to Shinra as the teen gets left behind and pulls him aside. Shinra whimpers at the sudden tug. He lifts his head finding Izaya standing tall with his signature grin.

"Hello glasses. Mind if we talk?" He releases the teen.

"Uh sure, what about?"

"That girl Shizu-chan is with. Does he ever split from her side?" Shinra squints his eyes at the man.

"No not ever. They're always together. The only time they're apart is at night. Why?" 

"She just irritates me. She's taming him and I don't like it. A monster should not be conformed."

"I really wouldn't try anything. You're going to be hunted down." Shinra information. Izaya simply smiles and pats his head.

"Oh, don't worry about little old me. I'll be just fine." He snickers as he takes off. Kadota is next to approach Shinra startling him.

"Did you just seriously give information to that psycho?"

Shinra adjusts his glasses. "Of course not. It was not my intent. Now if you'll excuse me. I'll be late for class." He bumps his shoulder against his as he departs. Kadota glares at the boy.

"Some friend he is." He clicks his tongue.

 

"Okay, okay I'm going!" You call out to your dad. You had to make a quick run to the store. While it wasn't a great idea to head out at night, you took your chances knowing what trails to take. You hummed a song to ease yourself thinking of what to buy. Your mind in the clouds madly in love with a certain blonde. As you continued to distract yourself you fail to notice someone stalking you until you hit the dark alley. It was a shortcut to the store, but also the place where you're suddenly blinded by a black bag and kidnapped by two men as they toss you inside of a van. You cry for help squirming and kicking for freedom to no avail. A voice scolds you,

"Shut up doll face. Or we'll be forced to take measures."

 

"Heeeelp!" You cry out desperately only to be silenced by a knock out to the head. Everything going blank. Your cries silenced and movements stopped as your unconscious body is being tied down.

The very next day, as usual, Shizuo waited for you at the front gates before school. All the students came in except you. He began to wonder if you were going to show up late. The morning bell rang, to his dismay entered the building. The entire day he focused on the door and your seat wondering if you were going to show up soon but you never did. During lunch he called you a million times, even messaged you with no reply. He began to worry and made sure after school he would check up on you. While Shinra babbled on, Kadota notices Shizuo's distress. 

"Something wrong?" 

"It's (Y/n) something's not right. She never misses and if she were sick she'd tell me." Kadota hums in thought wondering if it was pure coincidence.

"Maybe you should ask her parents. I'm sure something came up." The blonde nods. His brows furrows as he stares at the photo of you and him on his phone screen.

"Yeah...maybe."

After school, Kadota joined Shizuo to visit your home. Your mother was already taking off for work. She was surprised to see him without you.

"Shizuo, hi! Where is (Y/n)?" The blonde knits his brows.

"She's not here? I thought she would be at home. She wasn't at school."

"What? Where else could she be?" Her face told him everything. Something happened. "Should I inform the authorities?"

"No, I think I have an idea of where she is. Sorry to worry you." Kadota comforts. Your mother sighs in relief.

"Well, if you see her do tell her to come back home." 

 

"We will." The brunette walks away with a inquisitive Shizuo.

"What the hell Kadota? What's going on?" Said man looks at Shizuo in the eyes. 

"I think I have an idea where (Y/n) is. Izaya pulled Shinra aside to ask him about her. Shinra practically spilled the beans about when she's apart from you. My guess is he did something or took her somewhere." In that instant his name is spewed, Shizuo's eyes turned bloodshot red. His entire being boiling with anger. His jaw clenched as he seethes out the flea's name.

"Izaya!" He roars. "Shinra is going to have to answer to me. That prick."

 

A bucket of ice cold water is doused on you as you're awakened. You yelp and shudder over the freezing temperature. Your arms tied against a metal pole in a small, dark room. You recall the previous events of last night. You had been kidnapped, shaded men stood in the shadows bickering amongst each other.

"Wh-what do you want from me?" You stutter. There was silence in the room. You couldn't see except for a light coming from a small window above. It felt like you were in a basement or perhaps a boiler room of some place.

"Don't talk. Just keep your pretty little mouth quiet and no one gets hurt."

"I deserve the right to know!" You snarl. You are replied with a back hand to the face.

"Shut the fuck up! What did we just tell you? Keep it up and we might do more than you'd hate to imagine. Like maybe..." A sharp, shiny blade comes to sight as its placed against your neck. Your voice hitched in your throat as it lowers to your wet blouse. So transparent and clear, your bra is visible. The tip of the blade easily cuts the fabric allowing a better view of your cleavage to show. The water and reflection of the light glistened your skin making you more appealing. "Getting a little taste of your fine ass." Your tormentor licks his lips as well as the anonymous men hiding in the shadows. You shudder, frighten of the endless possibilities they could do to you. You whimper, close your legs and shut your eyes as you hope it's a dream.

"Shizuo..." You whisper to yourself pleadingly hoping for your knight to appear. A cliche but anyone would do. He was the only logical, strong one as well as the only person to calm your mind.

 

"Oh, he's not coming. See he doesn't even know what you are. I plan to keep you trapped here and see how long he can stay mad and destroy Ikebukero before everyone sees what a monster truly is. He can never be tamed and with you out of the picture. It won't be long till humanity sees he's a threat. It will be so exciting to watch him parish." The voice giggles. Coming into the light is none other than Izaya. You gasp, eyes widen in shock quickly shifting to pure hate.

"You bastard! You kidnapped me? All for Shizuo? Seriously get over him. You sound like you got a crush on him." It was his turn to snarl at you. He harshly squeezes your face in one grasp.

"DONT YOU PATRONIZE ME! I couldn't give a damn about him! Never pair me with him. He's nothing but an abomination. If you can't see that then I am left with no choice than to take matters of my own."

"You can't keep me from him! Sooner or later he will find out and he will come for me." You retort squirming into your restraints. Your eyes locked onto his as you carry determination to defeat your foe. To prove him wrong. The ravenette cackles at your remark.

"Such a stupid girl. Oh well it cannot be helped. You'll soon see it my way. I'm only holding you until he's gone. Think of it as saving you from his clutches. You'll soon come to your senses and thank me as your savior."

"I don't want to be saved!"

"Hush my pet that's just the poison talking. My men here will take good care of you. Keep quiet and behave okay? I'll come back for you soon." He chuckles.

 

"Izaya wait! Izaaaaayaaaa!" You cry out. For that brief second as he walks out, he grits his teeth as your call reminded him of Shizuo.

Three days pass, you begin to hold onto hope as you try to hold onto sanity. You peer out the window and find it dark. A tear drops from your eye feeling hopeless when suddenly you hear thrashing noises and cries of help. You gasp and turn to the door. Two men hear their ally's voice. Their weapons are armed including a gun. You begin to worry for the invader may have no luck. The two head out the door into the hallway Nothing but silence then gunshots and screaming and finally neighing. Neighing? There wasn't a farm for miles nor horses in such a large city. A crashing sound and a body thrown near you brought you out of your thoughts. The man on the ground, beaten to a bloody pulp. You yelp when his fingers twitches. 

"(Y/n)?" You hear a familiar voice to your relief it sounds so melodic. You begin to rejoice with tears flowing down your face.

"Shizuo? Shizuo! I'm here love!" You call out. You hear footsteps more than one. Enter the door and to your side is your savior. Blonde hair, brown, worried eyes just as you remember him only covered in blood.

"(Y/n)!" He calls out relieved as he unties you. You urgently wrap your arms around him. He holds you tighter nestling into the crook of your head. "Are you okay? We've all been worried sick." You pull away to look at him.

"I am no thanks to you. How did you find me?"

"Kadota told me. He eavesdropped on Izaya talking to Shinra when that idiot gave him info about us. I gave him a beating for being a moron. Celty insisted on helping and coming along." Said person waves at you. Recognizing who she was since you've been friends with Shinra. If you could call him that?

"Thank you everyone for coming. I've been trapped here kept away by Izaya. He wanted you to go on a rampage so you'd get put down. I was so concerned over you doing that but I had faith."

"Well, he had us to hold him down. There were time where he'd snap." Kadota informs. There were a few voices echoing from the door. "Come on, let's get out of here." The brunette suggests. You're lifted up but alas your legs were like jelly, asleep all this time unable to walk. Nothing Shizuo couldn't solve. He lifts you into his arms.

"I've got you." He reassures you. Your heart skipped at bear as you stare at him and in that moment you've come to a conclusion that you've fallen deeper in love with him. Celty was in the front whole Kadota stood behind as back up. Having her on the side was easy taking care of the enemies. In one swish of her awesome powers was she able to cut them down. Reaching outside of the building you find that you had been trapped in an abandoned building. You're carried into Kadota's van and taken home to safety.

It was a rough month but your parents kept a watchful eye on you. You were kept in the house for a week before sending you to school, Shizuo stood by your side closely never leaving your side. It was cute and you certainly didn't mind his affection. After that incident you were fragile. Every noise startled you afraid that Izaya would come back but you are assured that nothing was there. Matters got worse when you thought the nightmare had ended when in reality it only begun.

Your last period was not of importance. It was an elective. You been a smart kid had already reached advanced academics. Your anxiety never faltered to keep you paranoid so the doctor and psychologist suggested the same thing. Take a defense class. After the trauma it would soothe your thoughts. Surely enough it did. You felt confident again knowing you can fight. Shizuo even let you beat him up. Although the damage was nothing to him. Losing all sense of pain in his body. He found it rather cute that you tried to act tough. This only irritated you more.

The nightmare as you suddenly recalled, started somewhere near the end of school. Four months before summer vacation. You're startled with a glass cup is shattered. You were washing the dishes when it happened. You leaned back through the doorway, your father had accidentally broken the cup. Your mother assured him that it's fine and that she'd pick it up. Your father however, something you've never witnessed of him before, shouts at her like a maddening dog. You even flinched causing you to drop a plate and have it shatter.

"Oh grate now another perfectly good plate is broken. Money just washing down the fucking drain!"

"Honey!" Your mom gasps.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Your father's eyes softens. He sighs. Rubbing his tired eyes.

"No I'm sorry kiddo. Just be careful okay?" You nod unsure how to feel about this situation. It was odd sight to see. You and your mother pick up the mess. She rubs your back comforting you.

"He's just stressed honey, nothing to worry about." You nod hoping that is the case. It wasn't.

Days went by, things got worse. Your father grew more angry with time to the point where he shouted at everyone. It was like talking to a ticking time bomb. Something you were used to with Shizuo but not your father; and it terrified you. Your mother looked like she was son the verge of crying and you felt sorry. Every morning you gave her a hug, a kiss goodbye and that you loved her. You stayed until your father went to work. Everyday you were tardy causing Shizuo to worry but assured him think we're find and changes in the house is all that's happening. He was skeptical at first, but agreed nonetheless the less. Big oaf never was good at prying and sometimes you hated that. 

He's drinking. Your father got fired and now he drinks. Takes his remorse into a bottle of brew each day. Soon enough he lays a hand. You step in to defend your mother the first victim. How can someone so loving turn into something so detestable? You loathed him yet you also loved him carrying that memory of when he was okay.

"Don't lay a hand on her! She didn't do anything wrong!"

"Of course she did. She's working while I'm on my ass! How the hell is that fair?"

"Then find another job instead of moping like a fucking drunk!" 'Slap' You gasp at the painful contact.

"Don't you fucking talk back to me." You ball your fist and land a jab to the face. He's knocked out on the ground taking a vase with him as it shatters. Your mother cries in a corner, frightened for her life. Tears of anger fall from your face. You spit on his face.

"Jackass. Don't threaten me." You mutter. You walk over to your mother and comfort her. You try to persuade your mother to toss him out, but she refused. Your mother was so kind she still believed it will get better and that it's just a phase. You hated that. You hated it so much that your life was plunging into a hole in a matter of a two months. Your only escape was Shizuo holding you in his embrace, in his room as he pleasured you. You wanted to yell at the top of your lungs at the universe for punishing you over something you didn't do. Your mind casted somewhere far away as lust takes over. You can't think only feel good even for a moment. That's your drug. He was your sanity and you swear you love him. You whispered them a thousand times but no response. Now you wanted an answer. Some sort of reassurance.

"Shizuo." You moan. "I love you. I love you so much. Do you love me?" You ask. You hear nothing. You pull his head up and search for an answer. "Shizuo....do you love me?" The blonde looks into your eyes, thinking to himself or at least tried to. He wasn't sure at this point. Did he love you? He tucks a few locks of hair behind your ear as he still sorts his feelings out but to you it's too long. You bite your lip, push him off snapping him out of his lust trance. You pick up your clothes, rush to dress yourself, grab your things and rush out.

"Wait where are you going? (Y/n)!" You hated this feeling. You believed you felt love with him. Your supposed love. The one place you could escape from your misery. You can hear him calling you as he chases you but you sprint all the way home losing him in the crowds. You sniffle attempting to wipe your tears away. You sit yourself at the park. The same place he confessed to you. Your first date was now nothing but pain. You clutch your aching chest as you weep more running a hand through your hair. You stay that way for awhile when you hear someone you wished you never had.

"Awe, why so sad pet?" You shoot up at the sound of his disgusting voice. Your body shudders recalling the memories of what he did. "Don't worry I'm not here to harm you. In fact I came to see how you are." You click your tongue earning a cackle from him. "You don't believe me? That's fair. I can't blame you. I hear your father was fired and he's out being the city's drunk. How tragic. I must say, my plan went according to plan." Your eyes widen. You turn to him.

"What? You planned for this? You bastard! I knew something wasn't right. You son of a-" you take a step forth paused by his interruption.

"Ah-ah-ah." He wags his finger. "Not to worry I have a back up to recover your family's trauma. You know very well what I want. I want you gone from this city forever never to set foot and see Shizuo. In return I will grant your mother a great position she cannot turn down. Transfer you and her there and you will not ever have to worry about money ever again." You peer down at your feet considering everything. Actually considering his offer. Izaya was amused that you are. A wide smirk grace's his lips as he waits.

"Just vanish from Ikebukero? Will I at least be able to say one good bye to the people care? Like say break up with Shizuo?"

"Oooo~ I would usually say not but I do like the way you're thinking pet. Breaking his poor heart. I'd like to see that. Granted. You may say farewell." He slips an arm around you. "I'm very proud of you pet. You finally see the light just as I predicted. You better pack up your things because good news will befall you tomorrow." He chuckles skipping away. You stand in the park, alone staring at the ground letting guilt consume you. You squat down hugging yourself as you cry.

As promised, good news to your mother was given the next day. She was so happy, she practically squealed and bounced around the house, barges into your room to tell you of the good news. Your father however was not pleased, but that didn't stop your mother. She finally stood tall after three months of being abused. She set her foot down and pushed him out the door and slammed the door. That was possible the only moment where you smiled. A devestation deal you made. You weren't sure if you wanted to go through with it, but your mother was happy and things definitely felt like it was looking up. The only thing that will be tearing at you is your goodbye. So for the sake of your mother, you put on a façade.

Three weeks into your last month of school, here you sat at the front gates after school. You had avoided Shizuo saying you were busy trying to distance yourself so when the time comes it wouldn't be so bad. Sadly you were mistaken. Shinra is the first to walk out and say, "hi" to you.

"You looks sad. Are you okay?" You smile softly.

"Yeah, just happy that things at home are looking up. As of today I'm leaving Ikebukero and moving to the U.S." Shinra gapes. 

"What? That far away? That's amazing. I'm so happy for you but...you know we'll miss you." You scoff at that. "I doubt it. Shinra. I don't know if I can call you a friend after snitching me out but, whatever. Here is a secret I want you to keep forever. That's how you prove your worth and redeem yourself." You grab his shoulders. "Shinra, Izaya made me an offer I cannot turn down. He's the reason I'm moving and possibly never coming back. So today I'm leaving and I'm saying good bye and please take care glasses." Shinra frowns.

"You can't be serious? Shizuo will be devastated." You shake your head.

"Shizuo doesn't really love me. So therefore he has no right to feel anguish." You shift your gaze over to Shizuo. Shinra turns around and steps back. He looks down and walks away realizing your two needed a moment. You throw your bag over your shoulder. 

"Hey." He starts.

"Hey...."

"I'm glad you're okay. You look better."

"I feel better sort of." You say. He rubs the back of his neck.

"Listen (Y/n) about that night. I-"

"It doesn't matter. I'm breaking up with you." Thanks blonde is left flabbergasted by your blunt comment. "My mom....she uh, got a job offer in the U.S. so we're moving there." Your voice cracks a bit. You blink your eyes take a few breaths to contain your composite. "So this is the last time you'll see me. Forever probably. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't think it mattered since long distance isn't going to work and...you clearly don't love me. So this good bye."

"No, (Y/n) please. Let me explain! You can't just-"

"It's over Shizuo! I'm going away millions of miles away. I can't see you anymore and I don't want to! Not with someone who doesn't love me. Just let me go. It's already too late." You swallow your pride and run off to a nearby taxi where your mother waited. You hoped on as he watched you go. You remembered those broken colored eyes. You turn your head to not give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. You let them all out on the plane ride home. Your mother comforted you the whole way. When you arrived the lovely country, you settled into the apartment, went to school, started a new life and from there. It wasn't till you hit twenty one that you started your career and at some point got into an accident where your memories were lost and now regained in one swoop. You hear an endless ringing in yoir ears and everything white once you pry your eyes open. The beeping of a monitor coming getting louder on to normality. You stare at the ceiling and look around you. Beside you sat a sleeping Shizuo. Arms crossed, leaning into his chair, lips parted and eyes closed. His shades hanging on his collar as he naps. On the right side is Tom. He smiles relieved to see you.

"Welcome back. You scared us. We thought we lost you." He holds your hand. You smile softly and hold his hand. "I'll fetch the doctor. Sit tight " he teases heading out the door. The clicking of the door wakes the blonde up. He perks up fully when seeing you. He leans in grabbing ahold of your hand.

"(Y/n) you're okay. You're awake." He sighs in relief. You pull your hand back as tears trickle from your eyes. He furrows his brows questionably. The first sentence uttered from your mouth as you came to surprised him.

"I remember. I remember everything. You don't love me. You never have." In that crushing moment he realized what you were talking about and how you left everything off. All of it came to light. Something he wished you wouldn't remember.


	13. I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it guys, I know it's short and I may add more cause I do have some things I want to add on like marriage and kids so on and so forth, but for now I am ending it here. I lately haven't been all hyped about this but I thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope someday soon I'll come back to it and you do as well. Whenever the hell that is. I very much appreciate it. However! My mind can be changed if at least three people comment or more that you really want to see that then I shall gladly write other wise we shall see more in the future. Anywho! Enough bantering please Enjoy~

"What?" He asks.

"You don't love me, you never have Shizuo. I've said before in the past and you gave me nothing. I've known you for four years and you've never once told me you love me. Even when I came back and started dating you. I've said them to you a few times and got nothing." You whimper and begin to sob.

"(Y/n) please don't cry I do lo-" As per usual, the four letter words, interrupted by Tom and a doctor. Shizuo steps aside for the nurses and doctors to proceed check up doing several tests.

"All done, it's a miracle you survived miss (Y/n). Ran over by a car. The only injury you gained was a broken leg, but we fixed that up."

"So your saying my leg just go ran over?" You raise a brow.

"Yes, funny isn't it? You moved out of the way just in time but your left leg not so much. You slammed onto the floor so hard you nearly got another concussion sending you into a comma."

"That's a relief but not a funny joke doc." You glare at him. The doctor chuckles nervously.

"Sorry, just wanted to remove the tension. Anyways. You're perfectly fine."

"Wait? Comma? What day is it?" You ask.

"September third. You've been here since last month which isn't bad. Most take years. You resurfaced fast. Your ability to fight to conscious is extraordinary. Almost superhuman like. The second blow into th head should have killed you but you survived. Whatever is keeping you alive must be special." You blush slightly. You weren't sure if you were worthy or if you wanted to come back anymore.

"When may she be discharged?" Tom asks.

"Well, she just woke up, we'd like to keep her another day just for precaution that she won't pass out." Tom sighs.

"That's fine." The doctor pats his back.

"What's another day when she's okay now." He comforts before taking his leave. The atmosphere was left in silence. Shizuo couldn't talk about what you said with Tom around and you certainly didn't want to start something. You lay back and stare at the ceiling relaxing. You felt sleep take ahold due to the meds still coursing within you.

The very next day you were let go and taken to Tom's with the assistance of Shizuo. You were stuck in a wheelchair until your leg recovered.

"Man it's been forever since I've been here. Thanks for the assistance Shizuo. Make yourself at home. I'll make some tea." 

"Actually, I would much rather lie down if that's okay. I'd like to check in with my boss and work."

"What, but you just got back from sleeping!" Tom whines. You shrug and drive your way into your room. You figured Shizuo wouldn't let you sit there alone so he swept you up and gently placed you on the bed disregarding your protest.

"Thanks." You said. You bring up your laptop and start scrolling through your emails.

"Babe-"

"Don't call me that. We're not together. Not officially. I don't think we ever were." He groans.

"Damn it woman let me speak! I'm trying to explain to you what happened back then. Why I didn't say it back. Then to now."

"Ugh! Spare me your excuses. I don't want to hear them. I really don't! I know enough! Please just go! You helped me get here that should be enough. Go back to your boss." You shoo him away. He growls wanting to punch something. Instead he runs his hands through his hair in frustration and storms off with a, 

 

"Fine!" All while you close your laptop groaning. Tom stands near the doorway unsure how to react. You cross your arms and stare ahead.

 

"You okay? That sounded intense. I'm surprised he didn't punch a hole in my wall."

"Perfectly fine." You grumble. "Just upset that I remember everything."

"You do?" Tom gapes and chuckles with glee. "That's great!"

"Yeah, only problem I wish I didn't. I remember my abusive father, Shizuo, me being kidnapped by Izaya."

"Ah, yeah I remember that one."

"Finally learned who I was. I was way happier not remembering. Guess I know why I'm subconsciously depressed. My memories are sad." Tom frowns.

"Nah of course they're not, what about me? Shizuo and the friends you made." You consults. You think about it for a moment and scoff.

"They were nice. I felt happy at some point. Then felt like I flew into heaven when I was with Shizuo."

"Come on girl, you know it was meant to be. You love that man with all your heart. I see it in you when talk about him. They bring a light in your eyes I haven't seen in years." You blush the recall the break up and sigh.

"That still doesn't explain why he didn't say he love me." You sniffle.

"Maybe if you let him explain..." He suggests. You both chuckle.

"Maybe." You agree.

"He's a great guy. I trust him. Temper wise. Mmmm not so much, but I do trust him and that's what counts so if you guys ever hook up again. You two have my blessing." You stay in your thoughts for a moment before pulling out your laptop and searching through your email explaining the situation. To your surprise you get an email back given get well soon, and that it was fine since you were relieved of your duties here the day before the accident. There was a notice saying to come back whenever you awoke and the details will be spoken once you arrived. You sigh.

"I don't think it would work out anyways. I love my life back in the U.S. It's where I started new and felt I've been happy but. Being back here with Shizuo made me happier. I feel I'll never find someone like him, but there are plenty of dishes in the sea and he deserves someone better than I. Our love was based on nostalgia not true love. If he did love me there would be no hesitation. I'm going home tomorrow Tom. I know I just came back but I really do miss home. My mom is alone out there. Her company is always welcoming and I wouldn't know what to do without her. I'd hate for her to feel alone."

"So you're just gonna leave like that? Without saying goodbye to Shizuo?"

"It was hard before but this time is forever."

"Don't do this. Not to him and not to yourself. You're a perfect match." He pats your hand.

"I'm an adult and I know it sucks but it's for the best. I'm happy over there and friends come and go same with love." You click in your info and buy a ticket. "I'll be gone tomorrow so I should get packing." Your cousin's sighs and nods knowing he can't back you our no matter how much he tried, but there was something else he could do.

 

The next morning, you drank your coffee, called your mother and informed her of your accident so that she may be prepared ahead of time. Your luggage was packed everything in it's place. Tom walked you to the airport. You two waited for your airline to be called.

"Whelp, I can't believe this is it. Time to say good bye. It's been a hell of a few months but it was fun having you around."

"Yeah just like the good old days. I miss them." You say.

"Same, but there is always next time."

"I hope next time you come over to my place."

"It's a deal under one condition?" He says.

"What?"

"That you let me speak." You paled the minute you heard his voice. Shizuo stood behind you.

"Shizuo? How-" You glare at Tom instantly realizing he set it up. "Tom!" You scold. He chuckles and shrugs.

"Guilty. Just hear him out please? That's the condition." He sings. You huff and cross your arms.

"Fine. What do you want?"

"To explain. Before you go off I want to explain to you something and I don't want you to interrupt. I want you to hear my story. Why I didn't say those words. When you first said those worse I was completely absorbed in lust, but I never actually considered the words to be true. I didn't want to hurt you if I lied when I said them. I took a moment because I was sorting my feelings our for you. You walked out before I could say them. For the past few days I've been trying to say them to you but you were busy. Or so you told me." You frown feeling guilty. "The day you left I wanted to tell you then and there but you broke it off and took my heart with you. You asked me to forget so I did. When you came back, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I still felt the same. You became mine again rekindling my fire. I never said the words now because I didn't want you to be weirded out. You lost your memories and to you I was a stranger. Saying them early in our relationship, I didn't want ro scurry you away. Now I'm sure. Now I can tell you those words. I won't have break my heart again and leave without hearing me out." Your heart skips a beat as you listen. Your small hairs in the back of your neck rose feeling chills of what you predict will be the words you have awaited to hear in so long. "(Y/n) I love. I do love so much and there is not a doubt in my mind that you are the one." There it is. Those words never felt so true and so heart warming. "Please be mine again. No....will you marry me?" Your eyes widen surprised even more. Your eyes well up as he takes a knee holding your hand.

"Whoa, okay. I wasn't expecting that." Tom said.

"Yes! Yes I will marry you." You throw your arms around him as he returns the hug, lifts you up and spins you around earning several applauds from the witnesses. Sure Shizuo was feared and known here, but that doesn't mean it wasn't sweet to find him in love. Especially when marriage is involved. You kiss him long and hard savoring this moment as time stops around you two.

"I love you."

"I love you too (Y/n)." Your heads pressed against each other with so much love. You hear a vibration in your pocket. You answer the phone to find a message from your mom saying,

"Can't wait to see you in five hours." You message back to her.

"Change of plans. I've just been proposed. I'm getting married to Shizuo." You snap a picture of both of you and send it. Your mother sends a surprised emoji.

"What?! What a turn of events! Broken leg now marriage? Young lady you have a lot of explaining to do when you bring him over." 

"Oh I will." You turn to Shizuo. "Mom wants to meet you."

"I'll be glad to love."

 

~Fin~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray! Hooray, and that's the way the cookie crumbles. Thanks so much for this adventure this is my first accomplished fan fiction. Sad I know, but I feel proud and accomplished. Remember if you want to see the two specials of marriage and kids just comment and I will gladly do so. Thanks and have a great day :D lovelies~


End file.
